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AGU withdraws Support for Wegman's Denial of Southern Hemisphere

Political correctness has forced the American Geophysical Union into an embarrassing backdown, withdrawing their earlier endorsement of Edward Wegman's denial of the existence of the Southern hemisphere.

In declaring the northern hemisphere temperature reconstruction by Michael Mann and colleagues to be
"Global", Wegman had effectively dealt with warmist complaints about the non-representativeness of the Medieval Warm Period by denying the existence of the Southern Hemisphere [of course a monohemispheric globe is a geometrical innovation that rivals many of Ian Plimer's mathematical innovations - Ed.].

The initial version of the recent AGU membership survey only listed locations for members as North America, Latin America, Europe, Asia, Africa and Middle East (not to be confused with Meddle East or Middle Earth), omitting regions that lay entirely within the disputed Southern Hemisphere. For Australasian followers of the
Karl Groucho Marx principle that I don't want to belong to any club that will accept me as a member, belonging to an association that denied their existence was an acceptable alternative.

Technically, the AGU only went as far the orthodox view of denying the existence of inhabitants. The possibility of inhabitants in the southern hemisphere was raised by
Virgil of Salzburg (later St Virgil) but such views were described by Pope Zachary as perverse and abominable: since the tropics were too hot to be crossed, inhabitants of the Southern Hemisphere could not be descended from Adam and Eve. Now, at the first sign of trouble for Professor Wegman, the AGU has turned tail in a fit of moral cowardice and added Australia/Oceania to their list of locations. Geologists have noted that these tensions will be short-lived. Techniques developed by some of Senator Fielding's climate advisors have determined that Australia is moving northward at several degrees over 50 years and so in a few centuries Australia's problematic southern hemispheric location will be no more.

Prof Dr Moritz Lorenz. who would prefer to live and work in the Southern Hemisphere if it existed.