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Wildrose Listens to Top Scientist, Says Earth’s Shape ‘Not Settled’

HICKSVILLE, AB – In response to University of Alberta biologist David Schindler, who wondered if she believed the flat Earth debate is still going on, the woman leading a front-running party in Alberta's provincial election has cast doubt on the widely accepted scientific theory that the Earth is an oblate spheroid.

"We have always said the science isn't settled and we need to continue to monitor the debate," said Wildrose Party leader Danielle Smith. “Indeed, if scientists like Dr Schindler are using the word ‘debate’ in connection with the shape of the Earth, it’s obviously an open question.”

A Wildrose official confirmed Smith's statement reflects a longtime party policy, along with equivocation on other ‘theories’ like evolution and global warming.

Smith has always been coy about whether she believes anything but her own PR.

But during the ensuing discussion she said her party believes that not enough is known about geodesy.

In response to further questions about the level of internal agreement with her party’s official position, Smith said “Our party is open to people of all different backgrounds, and I’m not going to discriminate against anybody.” She added that thanks to the Wildrose Party’s conscience-rights plan, MLAs will be free to vote on legislation as their beliefs dictate, “as long as they recognize that if their beliefs are wrong, they will suffer the rest of eternity in the lake of fire”.

‘The lake of fire’ is believed to be a code-name for an oilsands tailings pit near Fort McMurray in which the Wildrose disposes of members who disobey party policy directives.

Progressive Conservative Leader Alison Redford was non-committal on the science.

But the Tory-led Alberta government has long officially accepted the science backing a spheroidal earth, as has the federal government. They are joined by the rest of Canada's provincial and territorial governments, the U.S. (except Fox News), Mexico, the European Union and the United Nations socialist world government organization.