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FoGT Interview with Lord Monckton

Lord-Monckton
Lord Monckton, the famous climate skeptic denier and fake expert recently left no opportunity to put both feet in his mouth. Examples of his recent mishaps include Prawngate, Hitler Youth Gate, and Houghton Gate, but he has been voicy before: Chuck it yet again Schmidt! Since his amateur science paired with his ad hominem attacks constitute a liability to every serious climate change denial researcher such as Richard Lindzen (‘the world’s best climate scientist’ according to his lordship), we invited him into our Calgary Centre to give him the chance to set things straight and liberate him from his reputation of being a lunatic an excentric.

Here our interview:

Q: Is it true that wheat is growing as high as a telegraph pole in CO2-enriched areas?
LM: Principally yes, not only as high but also as far apart.

Q: What is the objective of the UN world socialist government?
LM: The exploitation of humans by humans.
Q: And what is the objective of the unfeathered-free-market ideology?
LM: Exactly the opposite!

Q: A famous climatologist surprised his wife in bed with another man. Regardless, you blame the scientist for the failed marriage.
LM: Yes, he left work too early.

Q: Is it true that the
Friends of Science discovered the dark side of the moon?
LM: Principally yes, they now hold all their meetings there.

Q: Is there more humour in climate change denial than elsewhere?
LM: Principally yes, because we really need it.

Q: Is it true that all
Friends of Science publications have sold out.
LM: True, all bought up by a museum.

Q: Can a denier also be a good Christian?
LM: Principally yes, but why does their life need another burden?

Q: Is it true that climate change denial causes infertility in women?
LM: Principally yes, but I would not rely on it.

Q: Is it true that 50% of the
Friends of Science are total idiots?
LM: Nonsense, 50% of the Friends of Science not total idiots!

Q: Do many climate change deniers believe in Santa Claus?
LM: Principally not, only in the scientific context.

Q: Is it true that the
Fraser Institute is run by nepotism?
LM: Not true, the directors are not cousins but brothers.

Q: Is it possible that instead of John F. Kennedy they could have shot
Fred Singer?
LM: Principally yes, however it is highly questionable whether Onassis would have taken the widow.

Q: What would happen if you got a heart transplant from a believer.
LM: Absolutely nothing - the heart plays no role in my case.

Lord Monckton, we thank you for this interview.


In closing a Lord Monckton joke:
Lord Monckton takes his tortoise to the movies. He purchases two tickets but is refused access by the ticket taker because no pets are allowed. So he retreats to the washroom, shoves the tortoise down his pants, throws one ticket away, and tries to get in on the other. This time he is successful.

When the movie starts, our lordship opens his fly so that the tortoise can watch, too. Next to him is a love couple passionately going at it.

Suddenly, the male lover stops and whispers in her ear: “Do you see the guy next to us? His pecker is hanging out of his fly.”

She replies: “So what, isn’t yours hanging out, too?”

Says the male lover: “Sure, but mine is not eating your popcorn.”