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Guardian Scoop: IPCC Chairman made Millions in Moonlighting Consulting work

George Monbiot has revealed that Rajendra Pachauri, shadowy Chairman of the IPCC, has been quietly trousering millions doing consulting work, while supposedly otherwise employed on the taxpayer’s dime, saving the world from apocalypse. Monbiot–who established his reputation among the denierati by being among the first to call for the defenestration of Professor Phil Jones–reveals that Chairman Pauchari was paid some 3,268,162.77 INR (£45,000) from consulting in his spare time.

Sticklers may object that “taxpayer’s dime” is an exaggeration, since Pachauri is not actually paid a penny for his IPCC duties. However, it’s important to consider these salary figures in the perspective of the per capita GDP ($1031) of his home country, India, where they don’t look quite so far out of line, relatively speaking.

In a disturbing development–and a threat to the freedom of the press to print whatever “facts” they please–Pachauri employed the notorious
Farter-Fuck law firm to extort a groveling apology and retraction from the Sunday Torygraph: Read More...

The Electric Monckton

The Electric Monckton was a labour-saving device, like a dishwasher or a video recorder. Dishwashers washed tedious dishes for you, thus saving you the bother of washing them yourself, video recorders watched tedious television for you, thus saving you the bother of looking at it yourself; Electric Moncktons believed things for you, thus saving you what was becoming an increasingly onerous task, that of believing all the things the world expected you to believe. Unfortunately this Electric Monckton had developed a fault, and had started to believe all kinds of things, more or less at random. It was even beginning to believe things they’d have difficulty believing in Salt Lake City. It had never heard of Salt Lake City, of course. Nor had it ever heard of a quingigillion, which was roughly the number of miles between this valley and the Great Salt Lake of Utah. Read More...

FoGT hammers Friends of Science in Traffic Rankings

According to, FoGT belongs to the top one million websites in the world, while FoS are trailing them by over a million. This further consolidates FoGT as Canada’s and Australia’s premier AGW denial website. It proves that quality denial with sound, coherent, simple arguments, a healthy portion of selfishness (unfeathered free marketeering), emotion added to science, and the ability to cherry-pick the “good” stuff (pars pro toto), pays off.

Update: Medieval Warm Period (MWP)

Skeptical Science recently reported of the problems with the deniers’ skeptics’ line of thinking of the MWP, which is allegedly based on rhetoric and not on science. We deniers beg to differ.
FoGT pub climatologists found a sixpack of Eric's Red Cream Ale in a liquor store in St. John's, Newfoundland (Nfld). According to the box (click to enlarge), Eric was the 2001 world champion - and we wonder whether it was in hockey. The FoGT pub climatologists conclude that Eric, after establishing settlements around Greenland, sailed to Nfld. This proves that the MWP also included Nfld and hence it was a global event. It also proves that Eric himself handled the famous hockey stick.

For more on MWP, look here!

The Friends of Science iPhone App 2.0

The android zombies of the Friends of Science have been dorment since early-mid July while skeptical scientist John Cook is pumping out apps for Android and Nokia and other useless, addictive devices. Not anymore as our Calgary competitors are presently overtaking with yet another iphone app which can also be used on the more senior-friendly ipad with its large screen and fonts. This is what the app can do for you:

Previous version of the app (1.0)
here. Buy CO2 inhaler separately!

CO2 is still Plant Food - Buy an SUV to save the Earth!


Friends of Science talk Bollocks and petition Nonsense

Yes, they are back from their summer cottages - the latest old news from our Friends of Science’s (FoS) website:


Don’t click please - it is pointless. To warm or not to cool that is the question! And Canada will take the lead and start from scratch on a clean sheet to finally figure out the reasons of global cooling warming whatever fits right now - if it goes according to FoS. We wonder who they would like to see in this Royal Commission? The usual handful of the Canadian flying denial circus? Read More...

Is Monckton a Wanker? - and why It matters

With the recent biography of Bob Hawke and not long since the autobiography of Pauline Hanson the Australian public are asking that, if politicians must have sex, whether we need or want to know. So why is it important that FoGT has identified Viscount Monckton as a wanker (based on his use of crest with minimal differences from House of Lords where Monckton claims the non-existent status of non-sitting member).

Compared to public discussion of
global warming and ocean acidification, the hallucinogenic properties of carbon dioxide have received little attention. This probably reflects cultural selection, with successful cultures using substances with a bigger gap between mind-altering levels and toxicity. Indeed relative roles of oxygen deprivation and CO2 enhancement in autoerotic asphyxia (hypoxyphilia) are poorly documented. A google search of "carbon dioxide' and "wank" mainly reveals measurements at a mountain in Bavaria. Read More...

Friends of Science lose Global Cooling and the Issue

The concreteheads of the Friends of Science (FoS) publish their global cooling trend for the decade monthly. Their decade starts on the cherry picked 1st of January 2002 and ends at the end of each consecutive month. So, their cooling trend is shrinking while their decade is expanding. It will be a true decade after December 2011.

FoS’ cooling cooling trend [trend uncertainty > +/- 0.03 C]:
  • 1st Jan 2002 to end of February 2010: 0.12C
  • 1st Jan 2002 to end of April 2010: 0.06C
  • 1st Jan 2002 to end of July 2010: 0.01C (see below)
  • 1st Jan 2002 to end of August 2010: FoS have retreated to a golf course monastery to pray that their cherry trend will not be a positive one.
Chief denier Patrick Michaels, at the Heartland 2008 Conference on Climate Change, had a more realistic idea [Audio; mp3; 1:49 mins; 1.7 MB] of whether global warming has stopped - or rather not: “If you lose credibility on the issue you lose the issue.” ...“And if you make that argument now [that global warming has stopped], you’re gonna have a very very difficult time defending the future“. Again, no worries here that the deniers are consistent. Read More...

Coalition promises more Emphasis for Non-Core Science for Australia

Australia has been promised greatly expanded support for non-core science under a government by the ultra-conservativeLiberal/hyper-conservative>National coalition.

Like the coalition's earlier concept of the non-core promise - an election promise that you don't have to keep, - non-core science is a description of the natural world that doesn't have to fit the natural world. Non-core science includes Hayekist science with the principle "Any Science that implies the need for regulation must be wrong". However non-core science is broader in abandoning restrictions on core science values such as logic, consistency and observation.

Non-core science features an expansiveness that is lacking in the boring fact-checking core science that George Monbiot characterised: "Dave Rado did it with Martin Durkin's film Great Global Warming Swindle. Howard Friel did it with Bjørn Lomborg. Ian Enting did it with Ian Plimer", going on to describe John Abraham's debunking of a single lecture by Viscount Monckton. Read More...

Schweingruber and Schweinsgruber hide the Decline

From: Derek L. Schweinsgruber
Subject: Climate offer
Date: August 15, 2010 12:05:19 AM MDT

Dear Herr Prof. Dr. Schweingruber, lieber Fritz,
May I introduce myself. My name is Derek L. Schweinsgruber, I am the president of the Friends of Gin and Tonic (FoGT), a centre for climate change denial skepticism in Calgary, Canada:
S c h w e i n s like swine, and g r u b e r like Schicklgruber, Hitler’s mum.

Your name, which is almost identical to mine, was mentioned by our good friend, the renowned climate-change
denier skeptic Lord Monckton of Brenchley in his recent refutal of John Abraham’s refutal of his lordship. I understand that you are a dendrologist, a coauthor of Keith Briffa’s and therefore a climategator and one of the decline hiders, and thus your good name will be mud forever - just by association. Read More...

Monckton Channels FoGT

We have long suspected that when Viscount Monckton makes an utterance, there is more meaning buried in his message than can be discerned from the face value of his words [I would bloody well hope so-ed.]. Indeed, in the first minute of his latest missive, his lordship apparently speaks the words “the true believers in the new religion of climate change”, whereas he is actually implying something else entirely. Using the advanced closed-captioning technology of YouTube (click the red “cc” icon), the world’s super computers render this phrase into the text shown in the subtitle in the still from Monckton’s movie.


Aussie Leaders to mark Science Week with respectful Silence

Having ceased campaigning for a day as mark of respect for a soldier killed in Afghanistan, Australia's political leaders plan to extend this tradition by marking national science week, (14-22 August) with respectful silence on issues relating to science.

The government announced that the timing of the election gave a unique opportunity to show this respect for science at a time of great media attention. Suggestions that the election timing really reflected a need to avoid football finals, summer holidays, christmas parties and election campaigns for unpopular state Labor governments were dismissed as oppostion propaganda.

While the silence will mainly
focus on be ignoring climate change, it is expected to be extended to other science-related issues such as habitat loss and drought. Read More...

Lord Monckton refutes John Abraham

Lord Monckton refutes John Abraham with his disputed pink portcullis:



Rodent Reprise - Marmots Predict Global Cooling

We recently reported on a study in Nature showing that marmots respond favourably to increased atmospheric CO2 (or maybe biscuits). In the wake of the release of NOAA’s 2009 State of the Climate report, in which it is concluded that “global warming is undeniable”, we thought the marmots worth revisiting to see how they compared with the report’s Key Climate Indicators. After all, their cousins the groundhogs have been used in climate prediction for centuries, as have similar animals, and the University of Chicago apparently employs a yeti for the same purpose. We were therefore surprised that NOAA didn’t at least rate the marmots a mention. To rectify this, we here subject the Nature population to a rigorous statistical analysis in the style pioneered by our Friend Steven Goddard, graphic analyst (or is it anal graphicist?) extraordinaire and regular poster at the world’s most popular science website, Watts Up With That.

We begin with the orthodox
denialist scientific practice of carefully selecting the datasets we wish to compare. From the marmot record, the obvious data to use are those on adult mean mass (solid curve in Figure 1b); readers will agree that the familiar shape of that curve, particularly after 1998, shows that only mature marmots have the experience necessary to map climatic changes correctly. Of course, we need to verify this against other climate records, so we use the ones that have always demonstrated that global warming has stopped: the HadCRUT3 surface temperature record and various of the UAH satellite records. Next, we perform what Steven would modestly describe as an ‘innovation’ but which might in some circles be uncharitably referred to as a ‘trick’: plot them on the same graph, with suitably scaled axes, and stare at them for a while until a (non energy-efficient) lightbulb comes on. Read More...

Das Oberkommando der Wehrmacht gibt bekannt...

From: The Viscount Monckton of Brenchley
Subject: Re: No Sleep 'Til Brenchley - Letter to Lörd Moncktön and Motörhead
Date: August 9, 2010 1:19:58 AM MDT


Gentlemen, - Lord Monckton, who is currently conducting scientific research, has expressed interest in your remark that he might "for short periods deactivate the laws of physics". Your organization, if that is what it is, appears to have an exaggerated opinion of the powers of members of the Peerage. It would be most helpful if you were able to indicate which laws of physics His Lordship might be able to deactivate: otherwise, he will continue to assume that a genuine search for scientific truth - even if it leads to conclusions that are unfashionable - is honourable.

No Sleep'til Brenchley - Letter to Moncktön and Motörhead

Original sent on August 8, 2010 6:34:16 PM MDT

From: Friends of Gin & Tonic
The Viscount Monckton of Brenchley 
Carie, Rannoch, Scotland, PH17 2QJ 
+44 1882 632341; fax 632776; cell +44 7814 556423  

cc: The Agency Group Ltd, London (
booking agents, Motörhead)

Your Lordship,

Congratulations on your recent climate-change debate wins. Rest assured, public debate is crucial for public relations and each of your wins may, for short periods, deactivate the laws of physics and thus briefly reverse the effects of global warming.

Traditional Allies re-united in Australian Election Campaign

In recent days the climate change denialists spokesmen for persecuted scientists have been joined in the Australian election campaign by their traditional allies, the tobacco industry, in running advertising campaigns attacking the government.

A spokesman for the denialists innovative scientists said that he was delighted to have the tobacco people on board for this election campaign. "We have learnt so much from these folk over the years, that it didn't seem the same without them."

He went on to say that Australian denial now reflects the efficiencies of combined denial, shiningly illustrated by the
Heartland Institute in promoting tobacco in tandem with denying the greenhouse effect. It is very helpful to campaign against action on ETS, interchanging between "emissions trading scheme" and "environmental tobacco smoke". Read More...

Iron in the Soul of Australian Politics

The performance of opposition leader Tony Abbott in iron man competitions has been widely noted during the current electon campaign in Australia. Less noted is how Abbott supports the ideas such as the iron sun plagiarised from a well-known loony paper brilliantly extended by Ian Plimer in his book Heaven + Earth. Abbott notes Plimer as a highly credible scientist and he has written what seems like a very well argued book. Professor Ian Plimer is a leading Australian scientist who is greatly respected by leading Australian scientists such as Ian Plimer.
This steely strength extends to members of Abbott's team such as Wilson "Iron bar" Tuckey, so named because his approach to unruly indigenous patrons in his days as a publican. The most famous example is Abbott's mentor and former Prime Minister, John Winston Howard. Howard's support of the Iraq war identified him to George W. Bush as a strong leader (unlike weak leaders such as Gerhard Schroeder who listened to what their citizens wanted). For this strength Bush dubbed Howard a "Man of Steel", an epithet previously applied mainly to Superman and (in its Russian form "Stalin") to Joseph Dzhugashvili.

Comment on the Australian federal election is authorised by Phylis Jones, Friends of Gin and Tonic, Calgary.

Policies (of both sides) for the Australian federal election are authorised by the Australian Minerals Council, Canberra.

The Empire Strikes back: Moncktongate - the End of a Jester?

From: House Of Lords Information Office
Date: August 5, 2010 5:07:52 AM MDT
To: Friends of Gin & Tonic
Subject: RE: inquiry

Dear Derek,
Many thanks for your emails.
Viscount Monckton of Brenchley is not and has never been a member of the House of Lords. Read More...

Letter to the House of Lords

Dear Lord House,

We at Friends of Gin & Tonic, loyal subjects of Her Majesty Queen Elizabeth from the colony of Upper Canada and the convict colony of Australia, would like to enquire about the usage of the emblem of the British Parliament, specifically in connection with the House of Lords. Our good friend, the famous climate denier:

The Viscount Monckton of Brenchley 
Carie, Rannoch, Scotland, PH17 2QJ 
+44 1882 632341; fax 632776; cell +44 7814 556423  

has in the past claimed, among many other things, to be a member of the House of Lords. You have denied this (see
here). Despite this and the copyright issue you raise here, he continues to use the parliamentary emblem -- slightly modified in colour to fit his rather love-parade taste in ties, and with a modified hat which is not even a Viscount’s coronet -- on his website and in his public presentations on climate change denial: Read More...

The Thin End of the Camel’s Nose on the Slippery Slope

We deniers of anthropogenic climate change hold these truths to be self-evident: that climate alarmists constitute a cult that is perpetrating a massive hoax with one aim–a single world socialist government. Those among us who wish to defend our western lifestyle must therefore fight the alarmists uncompromisingly, showing that they are wrong, not only about some things, but about everything. There must be no negotiations with these eco-terrorists, no concessions–even to “reality”.

There have been some very disturbing incidents of denial-apostasy lately.

Firstly, Willis Eschenbach in the world’s
most popular science blog argues that measurements of carbon dioxide concentrations at Mauna Loa are reliable and that the amount of plant food in the atmosphere is increasing due to human activities. This is the thin end of the wedge, once we admit that humans are causing this increase, extremists could twist this into making a case for reducing emissions. Read More...