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2011 Almanach pt.1

2011 Almanac
January: The Canadian Journal of Earth Sciences debuts publishing climate change denial with a contribution by Greg Loehle and Fred Singer.

The Friends of Science, Calgary’s notorious spin doctors, stop asking their website visitors to listen to their new radio ads as November 2009 is long gone, while ignoring another La Nina in their 10 year climate trend. An anonymous liberal drops off a bucket of Kentucky Fried Chicken at the Friends of Science’s headquarters. Two friends die from stroke, three more from heart attacks. Only one survives.

Lord Monckton is caught in flagranti in an airport washroom with National Post correspondent Lorne Gunter. Both gentlemen deny the accusations and win the debate with the police officers. They decide to run their own blog called The Climate Scum. Denial Depot has its annual spring sale: Lord Monckton acquires a new tea cosy and Dr. Roy Spencer another doctorate. Steffi McImtiresome and Rose McKritik come finally out as a bunch of dykes. Not good in an ultraconservative environment. Keith Briffa starts dating the rings around Uranus and Raymond Pierrehumbert answers his first email from FoGT.

The Friends of Science and the Friends of Gin and Tonic merge on 1st April. New name: Friends of Gin and Tonic Science. Joe Bast of the Heartland Institute is diagnosed with lung cancer from second hand smoking but ignores it. Fred Singer, emeritus at the University of Tobacco Virginia, receives money from the Marlboro cowboy to second the denial. Dr. Dr. Roy Spencer receives another honorary doctorate from the University of Waikiki and calls himself Dr. Dr. Dr. Roy Spencer.

Leonardo DiCaprio publishes his first book ‘Climate covered up’. “An imperative read for a successful future” comments Desmoblog’s own James Hoggan. Tit for tat. John Cook of Skeptical Science is getting really mad, so mad that he refers to climate change deniers as ‘climate change deniers’. A spade is a spade after all, John. The Heartland institute put on their 5th international conference on climate change denial following their highly successful 4th meeting on Science Alarmism. This year’s topic is ‘Battle of the Think Tanks’. As a result, the Germans lose 2000 think tanks and the Russians 3000.

Joe Bast dies from lung cancer but ignores it. Fred Singer dies of old age and seconds the denial. The annual meeting of the Friends of Science has to be cancelled owing to an acute adult diaper shortage in Calgary. The re-recalculation of global cooling of New Zealand since 1909 results in the commercial breakup of the country. Individual pieces are being used in Dr. Scholl’s Freeze Away Wart Remover. Dr. Dr. Dr. Roy Spencer sues Dr. Scholl and acquires the Dr. from the latter. Jim Hansen retires and adapts his former name Hans Jimsen. Santer moves to the North Pole for longer term research and sends greetings.
To be continued...