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2011 Almanach pt.2

2011 Almanac
Part 1 of the 2011 almanach (January - June) is here.

Ian Plimer speaks to the Friends of Science in Calgary. FoGT don’t want to afford the $200 per plate, which largely supports the Friends’ denial activities. The Friends run a new radio blitz which largely fails to be heard because they can’t get the audio clips into iTunes. U Vic’s Andrew Weaver is challenged into debate by Lord Monckton. The former refuses and they settle for a duel and select clubhouse sandwiches as weapons.

August: Blog scientist Dan Moutal develops a speech impediment (caused by water in tooth) which makes it temporarily impossible for him to continue his ‘irregulate climate’ podcast. Little known Alberta engineer Barry Moore revolutionizes climate science by simply reinventing it on the back of a napkin during lunch. Jo Nova empties her website’s tip jar and recovers $17.34 Aus. Naomi Oreskes goes on vacation.

September: Bryan Leyland of the International Climate Science Coalition wins the internal Rumpelstiltskin contest and the town of Vulcan, Alberta, presents him with the ‘Klingon of the year’ award. He thankfully declines denies both. Honest, would you buy a second-hand sandwich from this man? The Climate Religion Unit (CRU) of the University of East Anglia introduces a daily church service for believers. Keith Briffa eventually figures out the reason for the decline in tree ring temperatures: increased acidity in dog’s piss. Mike Lockwood’s sessions in a suntanning studio yield no visible results.

October: Herr Prof. Dr. Rahmsdorff is accused of having plagiarised his PhD. He steps down as professor and becomes German minister of defence instead. The Friends of Science refer to this as climategate 237. iPhone 5 is released and is incompatible with the Skeptical Science app, which leads to a drastic increase in global climate change denial. Fred Singer resurrects from the dead on an urban heat island and remains thus cut off from civilization.

November: Confusion arises when Roger Pielke Jr. attempts to rename the Cato Institute (after Cato the elder) to Cato Institute (after Cato the younger), while Roger Pielke Sr. attempts to rename the Cato Institute (after Cato the younger) to Cato Institute (after Cato the elder). “Ceterum censeo Carthaginem delendam esse” mumbles the elder thereafter. During the 6th annual climate change denial conference at the Heartland institute a consensus is reached on whether the earth is warming or cooling and what causes this cooling. This consensus is carried by 3 of the 5 participating climatologists all of which publish in homemade, non-peer reviewed brochures. Blog scientist Eli Rabett’s fur changes colour to winter white.

December: Blog Scientist Michael Tobis volunteers as Santa for the New Zealand Climate Coalition. Notorious columnist Lorne Gunter wraps his Christmas presents in plastic bags for environmental reasons. James Annan and Julia Hargreaves finally read the book ‘Hokkaido Highway Blues’, which makes them leave Japan. Bryan Leyland gets the ‘K-Tel Hair Magician’ for Christmas. Kevin Trenberth experiences mild plant-food poisoning over the holidays - must have been caused by his excessive intake of soda water. And the good people from Wattsupwiththat finally lose their virginity on new year’s eve. Yes, nobody can deny the effects of alcohol.