Please enable JavaScript to view the comments powered by Disqus. blog comments powered by Disqus

Lord Monckton Writes Again

vuwPages from vuw

Ding Dong the Witch is dead

By Lord Christopher Monckton, 3rd Viscount of Brenchley, former Comedian Prime Minister and non-member of the House of Lords (previously known as Lörd Monktön)

It will be from heaven that Margaret Thatcher, the greatest friend the United States ever had, will observe the now-inescapable disintegration of the dismal European tyranny-by-clerk whose failure she foresaw even as it brought her down.

Margaret was unique: a fierce champion of people against government, taxpayers against bureaucrats, workers against unions, Us against Them, free markets against state control, privatization against nationalization, liberty against socialism, democracy against Communism, prosperity against national bankruptcy, law against international terrorism, independence against global governance; a visionary among pygmies; a doer among dreamers; a statesman among politicians; a destroyer of tyrannies from arrogant Argentina via incursive Iraq to the savage Soviet Union.

It is a measure of the myopia and ingratitude of her parliamentary colleagues that, when she famously said “No, no, no!” at the despatch-box in response to a scheming proposal by the unelected arch-Kommissar of Brussels that the European Parliament of Eunuchs should supplant national parliaments and that the hidden cabal of faceless Kommissars should become Europe’s supreme government and the fumbling European Council its senile senate, they ejected her from office and, in so doing, resumed the sad, comfortable decline of the nation that she had briefly and gloriously made great again.

Never did she forget the special relationship that has long and happily united the Old Country to the New. She shared the noble ambition of your great president, Ronald Reagan, that throughout the world all should have the chance to live the life, enjoy the liberty, and celebrate the happiness that your Founding Fathers had bequeathed to you in their last Will and Testament, the Constitution of the United States. I know that my many friends in your athletic democracy will mourn her with as heartfelt a sense of loss as my own.

The sonorous eulogies and glittering panegyrics will be spoken by others greater than I. But I, who had the honor to serve as one of her six policy advisers at the height of her premiership, will affectionately remember her and her late husband, Denis, not only for all that they did but for all that they were; not only for the great acts of state but for the little human kindnesses to which they devoted no less thought and energy.

When Britain’s greatest postwar prime minister was fighting a losing battle for her political life, I wrote her a letter urging her to fight on against the moaning Minnies who had encircled her. Within the day, though she was struggling to govern her country while parrying her party, she wrote back to me in her own hand, to say how grateful she was that I had written and to promise that if she could carry on she would.

I had neither expected nor deserved a reply: but that master of the unexpected gave me the undeserved. For no small part of her success lay in the unfailing loyalty she inspired in those to whom she was so unfailingly loyal.

Margaret savored her Soviet soubriquet “the Iron Lady,” and always remained conscious that, as Britain’s first woman prime minister, she must be seen to be tough enough to do the job – the only man in the Cabinet.

It was said of her that at a Cabinet dinner the waiter asked her what she would like to eat. She replied, “I’ll have the steak.”

“And the vegetables?”

“They’ll have the steak, too.”

Yet her reputation for never listening was entirely unfounded. When she was given unwelcome advice, she would say in the plainest terms exactly what she thought of it. But then she would always pause. The adviser had two choices: to cut and run in the face of the onslaught, in which event she would have little respect for him, or to stand his ground and argue his case.

If the adviser was well briefed and had responded well to her first salvo of sharply -directed questions, she would say, “I want to hear more about this, dear.” She would tiptoe archly to the bookcase in the study and reach behind a tome for a bottle of indifferent whisky and two cut-glass tumblers.

At my last official meeting with her, scheduled as a ten-minute farewell, I asked if I could give her one last fourpence-worth of advice. She agreed, but bristled when I told her what I had been working on. “Don’t be so silly, dear! You know perfectly well that I can’t possibly agree to that.” Then, as always, she paused. I stood my ground. A salvo of questions. Out came the whisky from behind the bookshelf. I was still there an hour and a half later.

The following year, during her third general election, I told the story in the London Evening Standard. Within an hour of the paper hitting the streets, a message of thanks came from her office. Unfailing loyalty again. She won by a 100-seat majority.

To the last, her political instinct never left her. One afternoon, Sir Ronald Millar, the colorful playwright who wrote her speeches, took her onstage at the Haymarket Theater, which he owned. She gazed up at the rows of seats, turned to Ronnie and said, “What a wonderful place for a political rally!”

During the long speech-writing sessions that preceded every major speech, Ronnie would suggest a phrase and Margaret would rearrange it several times. Every so often, she would dart across to Denis, sitting nearby with a gin and tonic. She would try the line out on him. If he did not like it, he would drawl, ‘No, no – that won’t fly!”

A couple of years ago her “kitchen cabinet” invited her to dinner. For two hours she was her vigorous old self. I sat opposite her. Late in the evening, I saw she was tiring and gave her a thumbs-up. Instantly she revived, smiled radiantly, and returned the gesture – using both thumbs.

It was not hard to see why Margaret and Denis Thatcher were the most popular couple among the old stagers working at 10 Downing Street since the Macmillans. Now they are reunited; and I pray, in the words of St. Thomas More, that they may be merry in heaven. They have both earned it. Let her be given a state funeral. Nothing less will do.
May other political leaders see as clearly and speak as plainly.

Baroness Thatcher, rest in peace.

Passing of Danielle Smith


Today, Alberta lost a great would-be leader.

Margaret Thatcher released the following statement on the passing of former Alberta wannabe premier Danielle Smith:

“It is with sadness that I heard of the passing of one of the 20th Century’s great leaders, Danielle Smith (formerly of 'The Smiths"). Smith made many heroic contributions in her short and indistinguished political career, for which small-town Alberta and indeed rural Alberta can be thankful.

“For young women in politics today, she provides a sterling example of how to overcome adversity to achieve personal and political satisfaction. Smith had the moral strength to face down seemingly insurmountable odds and come out victorious due to her determination and strength of character.

“Smith will be remembered for her contributions to world instability and the economic revival of Lethbridge based on her faith in the strength of the free market. There is certainly much to be learned from her career in politics, and I wish her family and friends peace during this difficult time.”


FOS Global Cooling Update

GlobalTroposphereTemperaturesAverage.jpg 534×410 pixels
The graph above shows the temperature changes of the lower troposphere from the surface up to about 8 km as determined from the average of two analyses of satellite data (UAH and RSS). The best fit line from January 2002 to February 2013 indicates a decline of 0.03 Celsius/decade. The sharp temperature spikes in 1998 and 2010 are El Nino events. The Sun's activity, which was increasing through most of the 20th century, reached a magnetic flux peak in 1992. The Sun has since become quiet, causing a change of trend. The temperature response is delayed about a decade after the Sun's peak intensity to about 2002 due to the huge heat capacity of the oceans. The green line shows the CO2 concentration in the atmosphere, as measured at Mauna Loa, Hawaii. The two red lines show global cooling periods between 1979 and 2002.

FOS President drives Truck through Halliburton Officer

We hope he did time for this!

Len Maier | LinkedIn-1


Alberta Suffering from Bitumen and Moron Bubbles



Attn: Premier Alison Redford

Cc: Hon. Stephen Harper, Prime Minister of Canada
Hon. Peter Kent, Minister of Environment, Canada
Hon. Diana McQueen, Minister of Environment, Alberta
Danielle Smith, Leader of the Opposition Wild Rose Alliance
Derek Fildebrandt, Canadian Taxpayer’s Federation
FoS Media List

Dear Premier Redford,

RE: Looming Deficit, Diversion of Public Funds to Carbon Capture

Yesterday you spoke to Albertans about the bitumen bubble.

We respond to you that there is acarbon bubble’ of diverted public funds that put the future generations at risk. Not only is carbon dioxide (CO2) a valueless and owner-less substance, the science behind carbon reduction is faulty. Yet your government plans to spend billions to
capture CO2 while borrowing to support education, health and infrastructure.

The bitumen bubble’ though real, is based on a valuable, tangible product. By contrast, ...the carbon market is based on the lack of delivery of an invisible substance to no one. * Mark Schapiro Conning the Climate Harpers Magazine, Feb. 2010

Carbon capture and carbon reduction initiatives are a foolish diversion of needed public funds – particularly in light of recent revelations that:

a. There has been no global warming in 16 years, despite a rise in carbon dioxide (CO2), thus negating the theory of catastrophic anthropogenic global warming.

b. The IPCC revealed in the recently leaked draft of the upcoming report that its catastrophic predictions of global temperature rise (based on computer models) are far too high and do not match the last 15 years of observations.

c. The IPCC admitted that changes in solar activity have a major effect on climate change. (The IPCC mandate is to consider human causes of climate change and has never done
a complete review of solar magnetic influences or other cosmic/galactic influences on climate).

d. Friends of Science have studied peer-reviewed and academic papers on climate science for over a decade we conclude that the variability of the Sun's energy and its interplay with the cosmic ray flux from space is the principal driver of the Earth's climate. CO2 is of minor significance. In short, the sun is the main driver* of climate change, not CO2.


Redirecting Quebec Students to South Calgary - See You All there Tuesday Evening


Tom Harris

We knew it: Lobbyist Tom Harris is the Unabomber! One of the creepiest people alive.


People who purchased the Cold Sun also purchased…II

People who purchased the Cold Sun also purchased…'Red Lies in a Green Dress - the communist background of the environmental movement'.

Schweinsgruber says: 'More mental than environmental'.

Short Description
The policy objectives of the apocalyptic climate
No other issue dominates the public debate, the political process and especially the mass media coverage in recent years as much as the environmental and climate protection. Barrage Awesome, German citizens are reminded that the planet was facing a man-made climate catastrophe that could only be averted if the Western industrialized nations would take active steps to conserve energy, protect the environment and adopt an environmentally friendly lifestyle.

Global Warming finally proven


This picture shows the development of the sun's activity since the onset of modern bed wetting in 1720. While the temperatures have risen since, the sun has emitted less energy, forcing the nickers to become smaller in order to dry on a cloth line. This inverse correlation of sun and global temperatures clearly proves that more government causes poverty.


Dinosaurs Responsible for Global Warming


People who purchased the Cold Sun also purchased…I

People who purchased the Cold Sun also purchased…'The Lie Of The Climate Catastrophy…and how the state exploits us with that'

Schweinsgruber says: 'Time that the government stops exploiting us with climate lies - the question is, which government! The communist world government?'

Short Description
According to the survey 70% of all Germans through systematic scare tactics over a looming climate catastrophe are frightened. Anyone who recognizes, however, that the underlying assets of this alleged disaster are mostly fake, can reduce their fears. This is the meaning of this book. Bachmann discovered as a result of facts that the entire structure, which is to support the climate crisis, is one of lies. Constructed of the highest international air authorities down to the provincial governments. After Dekuvrierung these facts, the author goes to the question: CUI BONO? Who benefits from this? He meets with criminal activity. This book is not only an economic and political thriller, but also a demonstration of how to manipulate and unscrupulous exploiters of selfish economic and political scare people and to exploit them.


FoGT recommends

A message from your Friends of Gin and Tonic:
Keep Calm

Friends of Science killed by Kentucky Fried Chicken

FoGT proudly announce the extinction of the dinosaurs of the Friends of Science. Finally! Several students of the Sarah Palin School of Geography, Economics and Quantum Computing secretly dropped a bucket of Kentucky Fried Chicken off at the doorstep of the South Calgary Community Hall during their quarterly meeting. This was on the 15th June 2011, the day of the last update of their website. While they all passed away from heart attacks instantly, their zombie website is still up and running.

An online estate sale of their walkers, oxygen tanks, wheel chairs, and adult diapers can be found on Read More...

US Rating downgraded



Water Witching (Dowsing) works for Climate-Change Deniers!

Schweinsgruber says: We recently reported on Barry ‘The Coop’ Cooper, who cited ’scientist’ and water dowser Nils-Axel Moerner in support of scientists against global warming. We at FoGT don’t think water dowsers are no scientists as this testimony demonstrates. You can take dowsing classes, too. Just sign up here!

My uncle Louie considered himself a skilled dowser. I am a Professor of Exploration Geophysics so you might expect me to be skeptical, but I believe my uncle Louie could find water by dowsing.

Uncle Louie improved upon the traditional method of using willow twigs. He used bent welding rods. Willow twigs are long and slim. Welding rods have more mass and are even slimmer. He would bend
ends of the welding rods down at a 90 degree angle. Then the rods look like this: Read More...

FoGT's new Evangelical Declaration on Global Warming



  • We believe Earth and its ecosystems—created by God’s intelligent design and infinite power and sustained by His faithful providence —are robust, resilient, self-regulating, and self-correcting, admirably suited for human flourishing, and displaying His glory.  Earth’s climate system is no exception. Recent global warming is one of many natural cycles of warming and cooling in geologic history.
  • We believe abundant, affordable energy is indispensable to human flourishing, particularly to societies which are rising out of abject poverty and the high rates of disease and premature death that accompany it. With present technologies, fossil and nuclear fuels are indispensable if energy is to be abundant and affordable.
  • We believe mandatory reductions in carbon dioxide and other greenhouse gas emissions, achievable mainly by greatly reduced use of fossil fuels, will greatly increase the price of energy and harm economies.


Petro Engineers in Climatology Pt. 3


When it comes to the global warming debate, let’s forget the red herrings and minutiae and focus on the elephant in the room — temperature data and mean averages. Earth does not have just one temperature. It is not in global thermodynamic equilibrium, neither within itself nor its surroundings.

Just because we can compute something analogous to a ‘‘global temperature’’ does not mean that it is meaningful. Individual telephone numbers are both meaningful and useful, while averages of telephone numbers in a directory have no meaning.



Geophysics is a broad discipline that includes atmospheric and planetary physics, as well as the more engineering-like aspects of geophysical evaluations and mapping. The latter are commonly assumed to be the entire practice of geophysics.

When our provincial act placed geophysical practice under the auspices of APEGGA, the Association was mandated to protect the public from unprofessional and unskilled practice over the entire spectrum of geophysical endeavours. This includes atmospheric physics, and therefore APEGGA is mandated to verify that none of its members have exceeded their knowledge base and presented false information to the government on climate.

Financing the Friends of Science

Push one of the “SPIN” buttons at the lower right and create value for the Friends of Sience. Tax-free, of course! In the case of malfunction, call Barry Cooper.

MakeSlots brought to you by Make Your Own Now!


The Heartland Youth

Our friends of at DeSmogBlog investigated the professional qualifications of the speakers at the recent 6th Annual Heartland Climate Denial Conference.

Is Climate Change Caused by Solar Inertial Motion?


From our Friends the Friends of Science - and as endorsed by Barry Cooper:

Solar Inertial Motion refers to the movement (predictable “wobble” of the sun about the centre of gravity of the solar system under the influence of the orbits of the giant planets (mainly Jupiter and Saturn). It forms the basis for a hypothesis by Czech geophysicist Ivanka Charvátová that correlates cycles of solar activity (and thus Earth’s climate) to SIM patterns. She discovered that every 179 years the Sun’s motion returns to a regular “trefoil” pattern (lasting about 50 years) interspersed with 62-90 year periods when the motion is chaotic. During the trefoils sunspot activity (and Earth’s temperature) are maximized, while the reverse is true during the chaotic periods (e.g., Wolf, Spörer, Maunder and Dalton Minima). According to SIM researchers, solar activity and temperatures in the first half of the 21st century should decrease.


More Spanking for 'The Coop'

Not warm to Barry
Re: "Scientists grow cool to global warming theory," Barry Cooper, Opinion, June 29.

Among the many regurgitated, baseless claims political science professor Barry Cooper makes in his article on climate change, one in particular stood out. His claim that volcanoes emit more carbon dioxide than all humans ever was based on evidence submitted by -somebody.

A simple search finds peer-reviewed scientific articles
refuting that claim. But, when you have a source like "somebody," why would you question it? If a student in one of his classes submitted an essay with such a reference, what mark would they get?

Josh Silberg,


© Copyright (c) The Calgary Herald

Barry Cooper opens Money Laundromat in Calgary


The Coop allegedly opened a money laundromat almost exclusively catering to the Friends of Science. If you have some unaccounted for, illegally acquired cash, clean it at his premises. 16 double load washers, 10 dryers. Change available in clean, air-conditioned faciliities. Open every weekday from 8 am to 10 pm. Free Fox TV in the sitting area. Corporate discounts available.

Schweinsgruber says: Barry Cooper used a genuine German Bosch washer for the FoS’s money laundry. The model is depicted above and has not stopped running since. That’s quality made in Germany - for crackpots made in Canada!

[Ultra-Right Wing Political] Scientists grow cool to global Warming Theory

BY Barry Cooper, CALGARY HERALD JUNE 29, 2011
The curious social movement of environmentalism is in decline. The strange little cult of anthropogenic global warming is moribund. This is good news for [political] science.

When the Chretien government signed the Kyoto Protocol, I argued they had succumbed to
moral panic. Moral panics are periodic outbursts of nuttiness similar to what some of the Vancouver rioters said happened to them. When I was a kid, they said that comic books would destroy your soul. Then it was video games. Current moral panics include obesity, especially in kids, and the oilsands. Read More...

Calgary Herald Debate: Is Hot Air natural?

Hot air
Re: "Natural warming," Letter, June 27.

Taking a case study on Greenland's climate and trying to extrapolate it into a diatribe on global warming is both preposterous and ignorant. CO2 is not the only greenhouse gas, nor is it the most common. The fact that Greenland was actually green 1,000 years ago has many possible explanations.

Also, whether or not humans are contributing to the acceleration of our planet's current warming cycle is not in dispute; the extent to which we are contributing is.

Brendan Frank, Calgary

© Copyright (c) The Calgary Herald

Schweinsgruber says: You are right, Brendan. Here is the paper that demonstrates that the greening of Greenland was a local event. And here is our own discussion of the regional vs. global issue. And here is an independent evaluation by pub climatologists. Read More...

Heartland Anti-Climate Conference gets underway

Today, the 6th anti-climate science conference of the Heartland Institute gets underway in Washington, D.C.. Here the program, which features the finest crackpots blog scientists around. This year’s motto is “The IPCC - a bunch of warmist commies” “Greenies in NASA” “Restoring the scientific method.” And indeed their scientific method needs much restoring. Your chance to see the who-is-who of climate change denial in one location, featuring our beloved Tom Harris, Anthony Watts, Tim Ball, Pat Michaels, Roy Spencer, Fred Singer, Marc Morano, James Dellingpole, Nicola Scafetta, etc. The conference is kicked off with a mass in the nearby Baptist church and will be concluded by a joint visit of this weekend’s NASCAR race. Donations to the Republican Party are gratefully accepted.

All presenters also participate in a parallel Heartland conference “Unfeathered free market economy - how
Manchester capitalism works for us but not for all of us” in the same building complex.

Lord Monckton: Die Jugend dient dem Fuehrer

monckton_garnautDesmogblog and an Australian Website report renewed ad hominem attacks by Lord Monckton. The real challenge is how to install the swastica in his portcullis. We should ask the Motorhead management. After all, Lemmy is an avid collector of nazi memorabilia.

FoGT have uncovered
Monckton’s Nazi activities a year ago. And we interviewed his lordship in his better days! And the House of Lords commented, too. Heil Monckton!

We close with our famous Lord Monckton joke:

Tom Harris endorses Science by Petition

Dear Tom,
The laws of physics do not rely on polls. And the don’t rely on opinion either. I am afraid, nature is not democratic. But, according to Doran & Kendall (2009) 97% of all publishing climate scientists [=experts] agree scientifically that AGW is real. This figure does not include the scientific opinions of mechanical engineers.

Climate Change Denial: Only in it for the Money?

Strange Buttons and Ads from Climate Change Denial Sites

Donare (
Latin): to give

FoS_DonateFriends of Science


support_button Frontier Center For Public Policy

suppt_stockManhattan Institute


Charlatan Ian Plimer in Calgary: The Gas of Life and why Scientists are Creationists


Famous climate liar and spin doctor Ian Plimer, author of the denial bible ‘Heaven and Earth’, was in
Calgary recently to speak to the older gentlemen of the Friends of Science cult. Apparently, he presented the same old zombie arguments for which he had been ripped apart by George Monbiot and Ian Enting. Above is the final slide of Plimer’s presentation, which features some truly bizzare conclusions. In the end, so he argues, the scientists actually are non-scientists. But who are the scientists then? The non-scientists that act as spin doctors for the denial industry to deceive the public? If climatologists are creationists, then doctors are murderers, priests are pimps, and mother Theresa is Hitler. The crooked world and fogged-up mind of charlatan Ian Plimer.

I am going now to inhale a volcano in order to get some life into me. It has been a long day.

Download Plimer’s presentation.


Global Cooling delayed, too

California preacher Harold Camping said his prophecy that the world would end was off by five months because Judgment Day actually will come on October 21.

Camping, who predicted that 200 million Christians would be taken to heaven Saturday before the Earth was destroyed, said he felt so terrible when his doomsday prediction did not come true that he left home and took refuge in a motel with his wife.

His independent ministry, Family Radio International, spent millions - some of it from donations made by followers - on more than 5000 billboards and 20 RVs plastered with the Judgment Day message. Read More...

Two Friends of Gin & Tonic raptured on Judgement Day

The Friends of Gin & Tonic sadly announce that two of their long-term contributors, Dr. Moritz Lorenz (left) and John A. Marr (right) have been chosen to belong to god’s elect people and have apparently been raptured on yesterday’s Judgement Day. For the rest of us alarmists, we will have to wait until October before a high rate of global heating will destroy the world. Please take the important dates from the time table below. Read More...

Believers, Get the Rapture Detector from the App Store!


Lord Monckton caught Planking on Police Car

For the uninitiated, planking involves the subject lying face down on, across, over or inside an object – the stranger the better – and then taking a photograph of the stunt to upload onto Facebook.

The Planking Scotland page on Facebook has more than 12 supporters and includes hundreds of photographs of plankters lying on statues, fire hydrants and even at Petra in Jordan.

However, it caught the attention of the Scottish police force when 59-year-old Monckton of Brenchley, pissed out of his brains, was caught planking on a police car in Easterhouse, a scruffy part of Glasgow (photo from Read More...

Anthony Watts getting dewormed again

Like every spring, Tony Watts, owner of Whatsupwiththat, undergoes his annual deworming this week. “I have taken in so much rubbish since last time - and considering my body weight - that this procedure may take a bit longer than usual.”

Whatsupwiththat will be open again for the usual rubbish next week.

Satura nostra est!
Achtung Satire!
Attention Satire!

World Exclusive: Mother of Ian Plimer's Love Child revealed

Hildemara is the mother of Ian Plimer’s love child, and Star magazine have learned exclusively during a talk at the Friends of Science’s annual luncheon in Calgary. Hildemara, 50,  worked as a sheep for Ian, Radar and Star have learned.

Hildemara and Plimer, 68, conceived their illegitimate child more than a decade ago, behind the back of the denial scene superstar’s wife and
Foster’s Lager heiress, Bolivia Newton John.

“She’s the one,” one source told

A second source confirmed: “They have a son together.”

Mozart Philadelphia and John Crook publish Climate Change Denial Book

The notorious alarmists and leftist political activists John Crook (known from Wattsupwiththat Skeptical Science) and Mozart Philadephia have published a book on ostriches in desert regions. The cover is kept in poor taste as it shows the arse of an ostrich. Crook has also released a Scientific Guide to Global Warming Skepticism last December - you find reference to it in the sidebar to the left. Since we deniers are always at least half a year behind, we found this out only now. Crook reports a minimum of 600,000 downloads so far. He must be wider published than Jo Nova, Dick Lindzen, and Lordi Monckton combined. The Friends of Science’s petitions included, also.


Petro Engineers in Climatology Pt. 2


I would like to congratulate Managing Editor George Lee and the entire team for their excellent work on the new PEG. I am pleased to see the Readers’ Forum is still alive and well, and I note that there were several submissions from the sceptic group, when it comes to the debate about the theory of human-caused global warming. Perhaps supporters of the Intergovernmental Panel on Climate Change are at a loss for words to explain
the events of the past three months or so (1).

Anthropogenic global warming is attributed to the CO2 we exhaust into the atmosphere (2). Of the infrared radiation that leaves the Earth’s surface, the small component of it that comprises resonant frequences of CO2 is absorbed and increases the energy level of the CO2 molecule. This energy is then distributed by collision with other molecules and reradiation of the same resonant frequencies, which is, in actual fact, a study in physics, not climatology (3).


More Opinion Climatology from the International Hoax Coalition

Get out of Tom Harris Kyoto while it it still possible

Special to Financial Post  May 4, 2011 – 10:55 PM ET
Stephen Harper should guide our nation away from the most costly hoax in the history of science
By Tom Harris

At the end of 2012, Canada’s international reputation will suffer a black eye unless Prime Minister Stephen Harper comes clean on the climate file. The Kyoto Protocol will then expire and, if we are still party to the agreement, our gross violation of this treaty’s emission limits will be highlighted to the world.

Canada’s ratification of the protocol was one of the last acts of prime minister Jean Chrétien’s regime and taints the Liberal party to this day. Harper should feel absolutely no obligation to protect any part of that legacy. He knows that much of the science that props up the climate scare is unfounded and he has stated repeatedly that Canada has absolutely no chance of meeting our Kyoto commitments. Read More...

All-In-One Zombie Denial in Forbes Magazine

Breaking News: The Climate Actually Changes!
By Larry Bell, Forbes Magazine, 3rd May 1978 2011
The new convention is to refer to “global warming” (something many have told us to worry about) as “climate change” (meaning pretty much the same thing since it’s supposed to be bad and caused by us anyway).  The main difference appears to be that climate change is even worse, since global warming also causes global cooling along with a seemingly endless variety of other carbon dioxide-induced upheavals that we are responsible for.

So whenever someone asks whether I believe in global warming, (aka climate change) the simple answer is YES. In fact, I don’t really know anyone who doesn’t. If so they clearly aren’t very old or observant! On the other hand, I don’t buy into the causes, consequences or remedies that alarmists project. Read More...

Beginner's Denial - More Salomoronity

Lawrence Solomon: Tornadoes [in the US] could foreshadow global cooling - or not

Lawrence Solomon  Financial Post May 3, 2011 – 3:27 PM ET
Tornadoes are associated with episodes of great temperature contrasts, often involving unseasonably cold air colliding with warm air. During the 1960s and 1970s, when global temperatures cooled so much that scientists believed we were entering a period of global cooling , the number of tornadoes rose. 1973, which saw 1100 tornadoes in the U.S., was dubbed The Year of the Tornado, only to be followed by the fiercer Widespread Tornado Outbreak of 1974: Of that year’s 148 tornadoes, 118 tore up swathes of at least one mile in length and claimed 330 deaths. As temperatures rose in the following decades, tornadoes steadily declined in number. Read More...

Bert is dead, Obama says Justice is done


Washington - Sesame Street mastermind Bert was killed Sunday in a firefight with US forces deep inside Pakistan, President Barack Obama said, declaring “justice has been done” a decade after the September 11 attacks.

The death of the reviled US enemy sparked jubilation across the United States, with a huge crowd gathering outside the White House just before midnight, chanting “Ernie, Ernie” as Obama made a dramatic nationwide address to Americans.

“Tonight, I can report to the American people and to the world that the United States has conducted an operation that killed Bert, the leader of Sesame Street, and a terrorist who’s responsible for the murder of thousands of innocent men, women and children,” Obama said.

IPCC celebrates May Labour Day with Soviet Anthem


The IPCC, the World Communist Government, and the Calgary Flames Organization jointly celebrated Mayday today, which culminated in the singing of the Soviet anthem.

Climate Scientists of the World Unite!

See how they celebrated last year!


Jack Layton, Michael Mann, and Phil Jones found naked in Bawdy House

TORONTO - Michael Mann Phil Jones Jack Layton was found laying naked on a bed by Toronto Police at a suspected Chinatown bawdy house in 1996 1896 1796, a retarded retired Toronto police officer told the Toronto Sun.

fabricated stunning revelation about the current leader of the New Democratic Party comes 15 years after the ‘fact’ days before the federal election at a time when his popularity is soaring.

When the policeman and his partner walked into a second-floor room at the Toronto massage parlour, they saw an attractive 5-foot-10 Asian woman who was in her mid-20s and the married, then-Metro councillor, lying on his back in bed.

Mann Jones Layton was cautioned by police and released without being charged. Read More...

National Socialist Post

Paul Russell  Apr 29, 2011 – 9:43 AM ET | Last Updated: Apr 29, 2011 8:56 AM ET

Andy Clark / reuters
A Stephen Harper supporter watches returns come in during election night in Calgary on June 28, 2004.
As surely as election follows election in Canada, comments about Alberta always voting Conservative once again abound. As a conservative Albertan, I’m tired of being portrayed as an unthinking yokel, shuffling to the poll to dutifully mark my X beside the C. The reality is that conservative Albertans vote the way we do because we know from where our success comes. We are able to draw a line between policy and economic outcome — we did not trip over an oil well and land in a big pile of cash but see that the pro-development conservative policies of our government has resulted in our success. Our grasp of this was demonstrated most recently when the provincial government became too “P” and not enough “C” and did damage to the economy with the royalty rate review — that resulted in a dramatic increase of support for another, small ‘c’ conservative party. Conservative Albertans are not Conservative because we are prosperous — we are prosperous because we are Conservative. So we will continue to vote as we have and the reason is best given by the old cowboy wisdom that says: “Don’t fix it if it ain’t broke.” S. Bagnall, Calgary.

Climate Change Denial on Hold because of Royal Wedding

Climate change denial is on hold for the weekend owing to the Royal wedding of Prinz Wilhelm and Prinzessin Katrin Mittellos in Berlin. Prinz Wilhelm, grandson of Kaiser Wilhelm von Habsburg weds his bride in the ruins of the Gedaechtniskirche at the Kurfuerstendamm. All European Royals, including Elton John the queen of England, our beloved head of state, are sending their very best wishes. FOGT also sends congratulations!

Top Climate Denier Seeks Help in Double-barrel Courtroom Shootout

By John O. Sullivan (another curbside crackpot)

Esteemed climate scientist, Tim Ball faces two costly courtroom libel battles. Here he reveals his concerns and appeals for help with his legal fees.
Dr. Tim Ball is widely recognized as one of Canada’s first qualified climate scientists and has long been one of the most prominent skeptics taking a stand on corruption and unethical practices. Two exponents of the global warming scare Ball has targeted, professors Michael Mann and Andrew Weaver, are now suing him for libel.

Many suspect the David Suzuki Foundation is funding Vancouver libel specialist, Roger D. McConchie who is representing both Weaver and Mann against Ball. Suzuki is reported as wanting
liars skeptics like Ball “put in prison.”

Doom and Gloom Alarmists want Funds deposited to get rich!

Pasted Graphic

The Question is; does the science justify the introduction of a carbon tax?


Friends Merger


The Friends of Science and the Friends of Gin & Tonic have merged, effective 1st April 2011. The new name is Friends of Gin & Tonic Science.


Monckton Admits Defeat, Releases New Logo


Lord Monckton surrenders the field. The world is ours! (Due Feb 8 in Canada).

2010 in Review

USA/The World
The lack of distinction between "the world" and "the USA" [think World Series baseball, Ed.] continues, with 1934 still being the hottest year on record in USA-world. This cosmopolitanism is being ably continued into 2011 by the good people at Watts Up WithThat.

The relevance of our local denier brothers the Friends of Science continued on its headlong path as their earth is cooling graph started during 2010 to show warming. We expect them to change its title shortly before they disband. FoS geophysicist Norm Kalmanovitch has continued to outdo himself in letters to the Calgary Herald and comedy spots at conferences, where he has entertained us by humorously denying not only radiative physics but also conduction and buoyancy.
Canadian denialism became mainstream with the emergence of the Wildrose
Brewery Alliance and its increasing prominence .

The True Meaning of the Christmas Story

In Australia, opposition leader Tony Abbott has inadvertently revealed a deep secret the threatens the very basis of Catholicism. Mr. Abbott's comment that it was hotter in the time of Jesus was a veiled reference to a project aimed to prove this by analysing the tree rings in the true cross, once the fragments had been re-assembled. This was a particularly important paleo-record since the true cross represents a large sample covering many species of trees.

This effort to confirm the consistency of religion and Australian Liberal Party's
non-core science was seen as less ambitious than the comparable project of cloning from DNA in blood and skin from the nails of the cross, as described in Honk If You Are Jesus. [This is silly. If you want to clone Jesus, just use his lovingly conserved foreskin. Ed.] Read More...

Global Records Databases I: Gotthard Space Flight Center

The instrumental temperature record shows the fluctuations of the temperature of the atmosphere and the oceans as measured by temperature sensors. There are five global records databases.

Currently, the Hadley Centre maintains the HADCRUT3, a global surface temperature dataset, NASCAR maintains PISSTEMP, which provides a measure of the changing global surface temperature with monthly resolution for the period since 1880, and the National Oceanic and Atmospheric Administration (NOAA) maintains the Global Historical Climatology Network (GHCN-Monthly) data base contains historical temperature, precipitation, and pressure data for thousands of land stations worldwide.The United States National Climatic Data Center (NCDC) also maintains a temperature record since 1880. Read More...

Big Yellow Sky - A Geoengineering Song

****** Big yellow sky ******

(a geoengineering song)

(Friends of Gin and Tonic: West New Zealand)
They filled up the sky, put up a sulfate block
with a bright yellow sky, giving the world a shock.
Don't it always seem to go
that you don't appreciate when it's hot.
They filled up the sky, put up a sulfate block.

Fort McMurray bans Plastic Bags for James Cameron Visit

Fort McMurray, capital of the famous Alberta tar oil sands, passes ban on plastic bags in the wake of the visit of James Cameron, director of the movie Avatar, and hence an expert on global warming.

Bags from fast-food restaurants, pharmacies, liquor stores and bags used to purchase bulk items like produce are exempt from the ban. Unfortunately, Fort McMurray only offers fast-food restaurants, pharmacies, liquor stores, and bulk items stores. Also not banned are the gigantic monster trucks used by the local losers to drive to the fast-food restaurants, pharmacies, liquor stores, and bulk item stores.

Councillor Allen conceded:
"There's going to be some challenges implementing this...from my perspective when I see bags floating down the streets they're largely from fast food places."

In a related story, the Alberta government banned the smell of air fresheners in vehicles during cellphone use in order to increase road safety.

Update: Medieval Warm Period (MWP)

Skeptical Science recently reported of the problems with the deniers’ skeptics’ line of thinking of the MWP, which is allegedly based on rhetoric and not on science. We deniers beg to differ.
FoGT pub climatologists found a sixpack of Eric's Red Cream Ale in a liquor store in St. John's, Newfoundland (Nfld). According to the box (click to enlarge), Eric was the 2001 world champion - and we wonder whether it was in hockey. The FoGT pub climatologists conclude that Eric, after establishing settlements around Greenland, sailed to Nfld. This proves that the MWP also included Nfld and hence it was a global event. It also proves that Eric himself handled the famous hockey stick.

For more on MWP, look here!

The Friends of Science iPhone App 2.0

The android zombies of the Friends of Science have been dorment since early-mid July while skeptical scientist John Cook is pumping out apps for Android and Nokia and other useless, addictive devices. Not anymore as our Calgary competitors are presently overtaking with yet another iphone app which can also be used on the more senior-friendly ipad with its large screen and fonts. This is what the app can do for you:

Previous version of the app (1.0)
here. Buy CO2 inhaler separately!

Friends of Science talk Bollocks and petition Nonsense

Yes, they are back from their summer cottages - the latest old news from our Friends of Science’s (FoS) website:


Don’t click please - it is pointless. To warm or not to cool that is the question! And Canada will take the lead and start from scratch on a clean sheet to finally figure out the reasons of global cooling warming whatever fits right now - if it goes according to FoS. We wonder who they would like to see in this Royal Commission? The usual handful of the Canadian flying denial circus? Read More...

Schweingruber and Schweinsgruber hide the Decline

From: Derek L. Schweinsgruber
Subject: Climate offer
Date: August 15, 2010 12:05:19 AM MDT

Dear Herr Prof. Dr. Schweingruber, lieber Fritz,
May I introduce myself. My name is Derek L. Schweinsgruber, I am the president of the Friends of Gin and Tonic (FoGT), a centre for climate change denial skepticism in Calgary, Canada:
S c h w e i n s like swine, and g r u b e r like Schicklgruber, Hitler’s mum.

Your name, which is almost identical to mine, was mentioned by our good friend, the renowned climate-change
denier skeptic Lord Monckton of Brenchley in his recent refutal of John Abraham’s refutal of his lordship. I understand that you are a dendrologist, a coauthor of Keith Briffa’s and therefore a climategator and one of the decline hiders, and thus your good name will be mud forever - just by association. Read More...

Monckton Channels FoGT

We have long suspected that when Viscount Monckton makes an utterance, there is more meaning buried in his message than can be discerned from the face value of his words [I would bloody well hope so-ed.]. Indeed, in the first minute of his latest missive, his lordship apparently speaks the words “the true believers in the new religion of climate change”, whereas he is actually implying something else entirely. Using the advanced closed-captioning technology of YouTube (click the red “cc” icon), the world’s super computers render this phrase into the text shown in the subtitle in the still from Monckton’s movie.


Das Oberkommando der Wehrmacht gibt bekannt...

From: The Viscount Monckton of Brenchley
Subject: Re: No Sleep 'Til Brenchley - Letter to Lörd Moncktön and Motörhead
Date: August 9, 2010 1:19:58 AM MDT


Gentlemen, - Lord Monckton, who is currently conducting scientific research, has expressed interest in your remark that he might "for short periods deactivate the laws of physics". Your organization, if that is what it is, appears to have an exaggerated opinion of the powers of members of the Peerage. It would be most helpful if you were able to indicate which laws of physics His Lordship might be able to deactivate: otherwise, he will continue to assume that a genuine search for scientific truth - even if it leads to conclusions that are unfashionable - is honourable.

No Sleep'til Brenchley - Letter to Moncktön and Motörhead

Original sent on August 8, 2010 6:34:16 PM MDT

From: Friends of Gin & Tonic
The Viscount Monckton of Brenchley 
Carie, Rannoch, Scotland, PH17 2QJ 
+44 1882 632341; fax 632776; cell +44 7814 556423  

cc: The Agency Group Ltd, London (
booking agents, Motörhead)

Your Lordship,

Congratulations on your recent climate-change debate wins. Rest assured, public debate is crucial for public relations and each of your wins may, for short periods, deactivate the laws of physics and thus briefly reverse the effects of global warming.

The Empire Strikes back: Moncktongate - the End of a Jester?

From: House Of Lords Information Office
Date: August 5, 2010 5:07:52 AM MDT
To: Friends of Gin & Tonic
Subject: RE: inquiry

Dear Derek,
Many thanks for your emails.
Viscount Monckton of Brenchley is not and has never been a member of the House of Lords. Read More...

FoGT Interview with Lord Monckton

Lord Monckton, the famous climate skeptic denier and fake expert recently left no opportunity to put both feet in his mouth. Examples of his recent mishaps include Prawngate, Hitler Youth Gate, and Houghton Gate, but he has been voicy before: Chuck it yet again Schmidt! Since his amateur science paired with his ad hominem attacks constitute a liability to every serious climate change denial researcher such as Richard Lindzen (‘the world’s best climate scientist’ according to his lordship), we invited him into our Calgary Centre to give him the chance to set things straight and liberate him from his reputation of being a lunatic an excentric.

Here our interview:

Q: Is it true that wheat is growing as high as a telegraph pole in CO2-enriched areas?
LM: Principally yes, not only as high but also as far apart.

Q: What is the objective of the UN world socialist government?
LM: The exploitation of humans by humans.
Q: And what is the objective of the unfeathered-free-market ideology?
LM: Exactly the opposite!



Do Climate Zombies suffer from Grave's Disease?

I strongly support Christopher Monckton and vehemently defend his right to look like a frog without being criticised for it. Frogs are under serious threat globally and need all the support they can get. Even if solidarity from Monckton is not particularly helpful to frogs, it's the spirit that counts.

Monckton's appearance is due to Grave's disease. As others have noted this may lead to mental impairment. Unfortunately, the media seem to be split between those who use his mental impairment as an opportunity for a freak show and those that are using an exaggerated version of validation therapy in spite of all the current experience showing that validation therapy needs to be undertaken with the subject in a controlled environment rather then in the glare of the national and global media.

Monckton's engagement with the community reflects great progress since the time when the mentally impaired were secluded in conditions reflecting their social status (see The Ruling Class (1972) starring Peter O'Toole). Monckton's illness is a tragic personal circumstance -- Monckton's great achievements in finding cures for AIDS and so many other diseases makes it particularly poignant.

Finally, frogs do not deserve to be compared to Christopher Monckton.

Prof Dr. Moritz Lorenz, Sarah Palin School of Geography, Economics and Quantum Computing, University of Narbethong.

Warming extends Mating Period of Polar Bears

Shorter antarctic winters cause earlier spring fever in polar bears and hence a longer mating season say researchers of the renowned Science & Public Policy Institute. “The buggers have been so horny in recent years” remarked Canadian sex educator Su Johannsen on the Monday Night Sex Show. This proves that global warming is alarmism, that sun causes cooling, and that it is darker at night than outside.

US City poisons innocent Canadians with CO2

In an extreme escalation of the embargo on Alberta oilsands products by the city of Bellingham, Washington, the city of Bend, Oregon has taken a dramatic step. Tired of the bullbirdshit emanating from its Canadian residents, no doubt in a show of solidarity with their Bellingham colleagues, and presumably determined to put the lie to Friends of Science Myth # 7 ‘CO2 is [not] a pollutant’, Bend workers yesterday rounded up 109 Canadians from the local park they’d been living in, took them to a secret city facility, and exposed them to raised concentrations of this trace atmospheric gas until all of them died of natural causes. Reports suggest they are being prepared for feeding to the local homeless population (many of whom are likely also Canadian). Read More...

FIFA World Cup: Climate Change Denier denies English Goal

Uruguayan referee Larrionda, a known climate change denier and honorary member of the Friends of Science, denied England this clear goal against Germany at the FIFA world cup in South Africa. Read More...

New York City Artsiefartsies paint Alarmist Picture

The Museum of Modern Art (MoMa) in New York City currently shows projected sea level rises until 2100 in real-size (click woman’s butt to enlarge picture). This constitutes a problem for most climate change deniers as they have never been to a museum, let alone one that exhibits modern art (other than paintings of golf courses, railways or mountains, or of golf courses with railways and mountains; the MoMa is a long subway ride away from the climate science district Wall Street). Are artsiefartsies scientists and therefore part of the IPCC conspiracy or are they not? A few hundred meters away from MoMa, John Lennon was assassinated, one of the fathers of the UN World Socialist Government. John would have certainly been a ‘believer’ in so-called science. John was also reported to have visited MoMa. This combination of facts unambiguously proves that the projected sea level rises were invented in order to boost the slumping sales of Beatles records. Home taping is killing music! Home science is killing denial! Read More...

Is Global Warming really caused by Coke and Pepsi?

The Climate Scum reports a 6-year old retard from Texas disproving global warming. Here in Calgary, yet another retard of unknown age (but certainly not older than 6) proves that the intake of Coke and Pepsi changes the global weather (not climate) - in the Calgary Herald.

FoGT begs to differ:  Coke and Pepsi containers, like the oceans, constitute carbon storage volumes. Read More...

Anthony Watts getting dewormed

Tony Watts, owner of Whatsupwiththat, undergoes his annual deworming this week. “I have taken in so much rubbish since last time - and considering my body weight - that this procedure may take a bit longer than usual.”

Whatsupwiththat will be open again for the usual rubbish next week.

Satura nostra est!
Achtung Satire!
Attention Satire!

MP3: Lord Monckton defeats the Nazis

girls hakenkraus

Over at The Climate Scum, they characterize Lord Monckton, the 3rd Viscount of Brenchley, member of the House of Lords, puzzle creator, and famous climate denier skeptic, as the victor of the Falklands war and curor of Aids and other diseases...What they miss, however, is Lord Monckton’s brilliant solo victory against the UN world socialist government Nazi Germany.

FoGT, master of the audio recording, offers Lord Monckton’s heroic fight against the Hitler Youth at the 2010 Copenhagen climate conference [Audio: mp3; 30 sec; 300 KB].


Mp3: Lord Monckton wins Debate but Earth still warming

Retired weatherman Anthony Watts reports a brilliant victory by Lord Monckton in the battlefield of propaganda climatology, fought at Oxford Union against Lord Half-Whitty, a brilliant climatologist. Because of this brilliant victory, the laws of physics need to be changed, global warming is unreal, and the large body of science that proves the opposite must be burnt. Once again, world history has been made by a bunch of British wankers aristocrats. IPCC observers cried fraud as the referee of the debate was no one else but Lord Monckton’s personal child psychologist himself. Read More...

Living in Denial: How Facts are decomposing

Richard Littlemore from desmogblog across the Canadian cordillera wrote in a recent New Scientist article: “A coalition of US coal and electricity companies set the tone in the 1990s with the creation of the Information Council on the Environment (ICE). It's purpose: to ‘reposition climate change as a theory not a fact’. Read More...

The Friends of Science Fabrigate more Hot Air

The intake of of chili beans at their annual luncheon created lots of hot air in the ‘Friends of Science’ (FoS), which contributed to what they vehemently deny: anthropogenic global warming. FoS president D. Leahey allegedly attributed this intellectual flatulence to the fact that Exxon Mobile had not sponsored the luncheon with Peptobismol this year. Read More...

Friends of Science Annual Luncheon once again Small-Scale

’Small-Scale for Small Minds’ was the motto of this year’s luncheon of the 'Friends of Science' (FoS), who followed FoGT one day behind. 27 FoS and their relatives filled three tables of 9 at the Metropolitan Centre in Calgary. Once again, it was a chili cookoff sponsored by the wives and granddaughters of FoS. “$7 for such a tasty lunch is quite reasonable for Calgary”, added guest-speaker Dr. John Christy when boarding the airport shuttle bus again. Read More...

MP3: Friends of Science sunk by an Iceberg

“The very curious thing about this is, if it is the atmosphere that is melting the ice; 9/10 of the ice is below the water; so how exactly is the atmosphere gonna be melting the ice?”
Norm Kalmanovitch, FoS, 11 May 2010.

Monckton pulled out of UK Election

Update: Perth and Kinross council has just confirmed to the Guardian that Lord Monckton withdrew his candidacy earlier today ahead of the 4pm deadline set by the Electoral Commission. Read More...

GeoCanada 2010 Abstractgate: Update

We had asked whether Norm Kalmanovitch had plagiarised from others in his GeoCanada 2010 abstract.

"No, he attributed me. Sometimes people write things out to explain them in their own mind, without breaking new ground. This may be one of those instances." --David Archibald, greenhouse denier

"Thanks for your interest in what Norm is going to say. I have had several exchanges with him and he still gets 'the wrong end of the stick'! He has based his work on some of mine, but essentially does not understand the physics." -- Jack Barrett, greenhouse denier

FoGT says: While we feel that Jack Barrett was at least honest in our exchange, he does not appear to understand the physics either. Read More...

Lord Monckton in the UK General Election 2010

According to information from Buckteeth Palace and some guy at DenialDepot, the previous court jester and FoS speaker Lord Monckton is running for OFFICIAL HONORARY PRIME MINISTER OF THE HOUSE OF LORDS in the upcoming United Kingdom general election, held on 6th May 2010. His campaign motto: 'Chuck it yet again, Schmidt!' Monckton is the candidate for the Plaid Cymru party, consistent with his residence in Scotland. The Canadian equivalent would be the Bloc Québécois. Says Bloc Fuhrer Gilles Duceppe from his Calgary home: "Mon mam Cymru - Anglesey, mother of Scotland"! In North America, Lord Monckton's efforts are endorsed by the Hooterville Gazette. We hope the Friends of Science will not interfere with the election through bizarre radio ads.

Says Schmidt: All this bright pink and purple is kinda gay! It gives '
ad hominem' a completely new meaning.

FoS at GeoCanada 2010: Correct the Abstract!

While none of the FoGT-submitted abstracts to the GeoCanada 2010 (Calgary, 10-14 May) were accepted, Norm Kalmanovitch of our sister organisation Friends of Science (FoS) is scheduled to speak in the session 'Cimate Change Through Time'. Read More...

CSPG pulls Hutton pdf from Website

The CSPG removed the public link to Dr. A. Neil Hutton's opus 'Climate Change' from their website, possibly in response to our suggestion of submitting it to a peer-reviewed journal, or because of a conspiracy of so-called scientists in their left wing. Read More...

The Empire Strikes Back

Congratulations on your new group. You will find plenty of friends in the Chamber of Commerce and in the Petroleum Club.
- M of B

The Viscount Monckton of Brenchley
Carie, Rannoch, Scotland, PH17 2QJ