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Letter to Alberta’s Wildrose Party - A Better Use for CO2

Dear Danielle

We, the Friends of Gin and Tonic, are an Alberta organization that has been front & centre in the “healthy scientific debate as to the extent manmade emissions of CO2 are affecting global temperatures” that is mentioned in your party’s environment policy. Indeed, we have already highlighted that policy and your deputy leader Paul Hinman’s doubts about the “validity” of CO2 on our blog, which as a politician you would do well to note is much more popular than the Facebook page of our geriatric competitors, the so-called Friends of Science. We have also promoted your eye-catching campaign photograph.

We note that a key part of your party’s environment policy is abandonment of the current government’s
carbon capture and storage initiative, so that should the Wildrose become government in the upcoming Alberta provincial election, there’ll be not only plenty of money but plenty of CO2 to go around. We’re sure your science advisors will have alerted you to the recent publication of a method for the electro-microbial conversion of CO2 to alcohol. We have already applied our Albertan knack for innovation to this new discovery: in my colleague Dr Schweinsgruber’s garage, we are in the advanced stages of constructing a demonstration plant for the conversion of CO2 to high-quality gin.

Science

We therefore welcome your intention to give tax breaks for environment-related R&D, which we trust would include the rental of additional garage space for enterprises such as ours; and we strongly urge you to extend those tax breaks to the products of such enterprises, as long as they are intended for home consumption. We acknowledge that some in your party’s Policy Committee will be disappointed that we are not producing that good old Albertan staple, rye whisky, and therefore might not be sympathetically inclined toward our new business. In response we would note that gin’s traditional accompaniment, tonic water, not only has
potential health benefits in a warming naturally changing climate, its absorbance spectrum is such that keeping it out of the atmosphere should be encouraged.

We think our proposal should find favour with your party, which is on record as
promoting alcohol consumption before driving (and driving of course produces CO2). However, if after due consideration our proposal is not seen as compatible with Wildrose policy, we hope that your Disciplinary Committee will not condemn us to suffer the rest of eternity in the lake of fire.

Sincerely,
Dr Roger Romney-Hughes
Executive Director
Friends of Gin and Tonic

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Letter to Canadian Environment Minister Peter Kent

Kunt

Dear Minister Kent,

We were very pleased to read that one of the reasons for abolishing the venerable National Round Table on the Environment and the Economy in the recent budget is that today, more agreeable advice can be gained cheaper and faster on the internet. We, the Friends of Gin and Tonic, an internet scientific and alcoholic advisory group of just on 2 years standing, would be delighted to be among the oracles you consult.

In our brief but illustrious history, we have offered climate-related legal advice to famous climbertologist Lord Christopher Monckton and to the British Parliament. Among our many scientific innovations, we have uncovered the influence of climate change on the performance of the Toronto Maple Leafs, developed new statistical techniques of fitting proper trends to temperature and other climate data, and demonstrated that marmots can predict climate better than expensive computers programmed by expensive ‘climate scientists’ (many of whom, despite being government employees, probably don’t vote Conservative). We have also promoted the favourable atmospheric effects of the energy mix in Prime Minister Harper’s (and our own) home province of Alberta, promoted ‘ethical asbestos’ to complement the oilsands producers’ ‘ethical oil’ campaign, and, not least, have reported your own glorious military victory against South Africa.

We’re certain that with such a distinguished record we will soon be among your most treasured advisors. We imagine that as a former journalist you, like Hunter S. Thompson, are more of a Wild Turkey man, but we would also be happy to provide recommendations for suitable refreshments to prepare you for those long sessions in the House (or, like Rob Anders, committee work). All we would ask in return is a small stipend to cover the gin required by the marmots. We expect this to be no more than the cost of a single one of Defence Minister Peter Mackay’s fishing trips. If this consideration is not forthcoming, we cannot be held responsible for any drunken marmots you might find running loose in your office and for the resulting damage to public property.

While we recognize that the interweb is fertile ground for those searching for policy advice to fit their particular prejudices, we would caution you against consulting it indiscriminately. In particular, we urge you to beware the charlatans of the Friends of Science, who these days are no longer Conservative supporters but vote for the Wildrose Alliance and who furthermore are promoters and distributors of the most egregious bullshit.

Sincerely,
Dr Roger Romney-Hughes
Executive Director
Friends of Gin and Tonic

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Another Letter to the Friends of Science

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After a long hiatus, FoGT has sent yet another letter, once again to the Friends of Science. Our selection of previous letters is here.





Dear fellow climate change deniers,
We are at a loss how you hacked our website and posted your message:

http://friendsofginandtonic.org/files/a37c155aa76d3a48697b79b71afd1136-265.html

But congratulations! This is, in your own words, climatedenialgate! With your evil hacking skills, you are now the prime suspects for the climategate hack.

By the way, your idea of a causal connection of sunspots, global cooling (or warming?), and plate tectonic activity is truly intriguing!  

Keep up the good work! And celebrate the fact that Koch industries have registered as lobbyists in Alberta! This means lots of funding for us all.

We will report on FoS all next week. Stay tuned!

Derek
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FoS stops Global Cooling and invents Website Traffic

foslogobs2
Dear FoS,
We FoGT have been missing your monthly decadal regression trends since 2002. It used to be declining by 0.12C per decade in February 2010, and in July, it was 0.01C (which is smaller than the error).

August was skipped, will September be skipped, too because the trend is now a positive one or because you guys were seconded to harvest cherries in Okanagan valley?

http://friendsofginandtonic.org/files/5c9436491fb48fad72ce136274b6c4f7-202.html

Derek Read More...
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Schweingruber and Schweinsgruber hide the Decline

Schweingruber
From: Derek L. Schweinsgruber
Subject: Climate offer
Date: August 15, 2010 12:05:19 AM MDT
To: fritz.schweingruber@wsl.ch

Dear Herr Prof. Dr. Schweingruber, lieber Fritz,
May I introduce myself. My name is Derek L. Schweinsgruber, I am the president of the Friends of Gin and Tonic (FoGT), a centre for climate change denial skepticism in Calgary, Canada:
S c h w e i n s like swine, and g r u b e r like Schicklgruber, Hitler’s mum.

Your name, which is almost identical to mine, was mentioned by our good friend, the renowned climate-change
denier skeptic Lord Monckton of Brenchley in his recent refutal of John Abraham’s refutal of his lordship. I understand that you are a dendrologist, a coauthor of Keith Briffa’s and therefore a climategator and one of the decline hiders, and thus your good name will be mud forever - just by association. Read More...
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No Sleep'til Brenchley - Letter to Moncktön and Motörhead

Original sent on August 8, 2010 6:34:16 PM MDT

From: Friends of Gin & Tonic
To:
The Viscount Monckton of Brenchley 
Carie, Rannoch, Scotland, PH17 2QJ 
+44 1882 632341; fax 632776; cell +44 7814 556423

monckton@mail.com  

cc: The Agency Group Ltd, London (
booking agents, Motörhead)

Your Lordship,

Congratulations on your recent climate-change debate wins. Rest assured, public debate is crucial for public relations and each of your wins may, for short periods, deactivate the laws of physics and thus briefly reverse the effects of global warming.
Read More...
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Letter to the House of Lords

Dear Lord House,

We at Friends of Gin & Tonic, loyal subjects of Her Majesty Queen Elizabeth from the colony of Upper Canada and the convict colony of Australia, would like to enquire about the usage of the emblem of the British Parliament, specifically in connection with the House of Lords. Our good friend, the famous climate denier:

The Viscount Monckton of Brenchley 
Carie, Rannoch, Scotland, PH17 2QJ 
+44 1882 632341; fax 632776; cell +44 7814 556423

monckton@mail.com  

has in the past claimed, among many other things, to be a member of the House of Lords. You have denied this (see
here). Despite this and the copyright issue you raise here, he continues to use the parliamentary emblem -- slightly modified in colour to fit his rather love-parade taste in ties, and with a modified hat which is not even a Viscount’s coronet -- on his website and in his public presentations on climate change denial: Read More...
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Open Letter to AGU: FoGT offers Support in Climate Denial

Deniers who keep up with the corrupt, stinking morass of the peer-reviewed ‘scientific’ literature – and many who don’t but who want to impress their Friends – will be intimately familiar with what our hero Lord Monckton called “perhaps the most important paper ever to have been published on the question of anthropogenic ‘global warming’”: the paper that appeared last August in Geophysical Research Letters by Lindzen & Choi. Lindzen & Choi analyzed the relationship between sea-surface temperature and satellite-observed outgoing radiation in and over the tropics from 1985 to 1999 and concluded that climate sensitivity, the global average temperature rise expected under a doubling of atmospheric CO2, is only about 0.5oC rather than the ~3oC of the consensus-conspiracy. The paper instantly became a denialist smash-hit, and all our Friends trumpeted it at every chance they could as the final proof that CO2 was nothing more than harmless plant food. Read More...
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Letter from the Editor: Dr. Ian Plimer

Dear Dr. Plimer,

We are FoGT, a new climate denial skeptics organization out of Calgary, the hotbed of North American climate change denial.

Included here is a link to a song we made for you. 
http://friendsofginandtonic.org/assets/StandbyYourScam.mp3

Read More...
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Letter to Dr. Chris de Freitas

[We have not received an answer by Dr. de Freitas]

Dear Dr. de Freitas,
In a recent paper by McLean et al. (2009)  it is claimed that climate change is largely triggered by SOI (Southern Oscillation Index). You are the second author. But you are also a scientific advisor to the "Friends of Science (FoS)" in Calgary. The FoS claim on their website... Read More...
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Letter to Dr. Patrick Michaels, Cato Institute

[We have not received an answer by Dr. Michaels]

Dear Dr. Michaels,

RE: recent satellite temperature trends of the lower atmosphere
Read More...
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Letter to the Friends of Science

Dear Friends of Science,
The banner of your website contains an alleged statement of Sir John Houghton, the first chairperson of the IPCC.
Read More...
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Letter to Dr. S. Fred Singer (with short answer)

Actual letter in blue, submitted per web form. Short answer by Dr. Singer in grey, squeezed in between paragraphs.

Sehr geehrter Herr Dr. Singer,
I am wondering about recent global temperature trends.  Here a link to Dr. Spencer's most recent satellite data:
http://www.drroyspencer.com/latest-global-temperatures/

My Calgary colleagues of the Friends of Science (FoS;
friendsofscience.org), claim that the earth has been cooling since 2002. They even advertised this cooling in recent radio ads. The FoS base this on a T-t plot similar to Dr. Spencer's. The difference is that theirs constitutes the average between the two principal satellite data sets (UAH, Remote Sensing LTD). While there is essentially no difference between the two, I cannot see the 0.12 C drop since 2002 claimed by the FoS. In fact, T has been shooting up recently and the long-term trend since 1979 is also clearly up. The period between 2002 and 2007 is simply a high plateau,

that's a possible interpretation, consistent with the accuracy of the data set Read More...
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Letter to Dr. Roy Spencer, University of Alabama

[We have not received an answer by Dr. Spencer]

Dear Dr. Spencer,

RE: recent UAH satellite temperature trends of the lower atmosphere
Read More...
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Letter to the Friends of Science

Dear Friends of Science,
Please have a look a the latest satellite data from UAH:
http://www.drroyspencer.com/latest-global-temperatures/
Read More...
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