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Innovative Policymaking Supports Renewable Energy in North Carolina

John Skvarla, Tea Party ‘expert’ and newly-appointed Secretary of the North Carolina Department of Environment and Natural Resources under Republican Governor-elect John McCrory, is widely expected to make things more friendly for the energy industry activity in the state.

In a
recent interview, Skvarla acknowledged that “North Carolina has a law that requires power companies to buy a certain portion of their power from renewable sources.” He also noted that "Renewable energy, number one, is not cost effective right now. It requires subsidy."

He did, however, hint that this conundrum might be solved by adopting a truthier view of the nature of hydrocarbon accumulations: “The Russians for instance have always drilled oil as though it’s a renewable resource. And so far they haven’t been proven wrong.”

Well, it might be true that
Russia last year overtook Saudi Arabia as the world’s biggest oil producer, but crusty old geologists like ourselves would suggest that this has rather more to do with old Soviet fields being redeveloped – and some new ones being discovered – than with new oil being generated by magic beneath them.

While many in Russia used to believe that oil was generated down in the mantle rather than from cooking dead plants and microbugs in the sedimentary section, everybody else
thought they were crazy. Skvarla’s contention that “there is a lot of different scientific opinion on that” would only be correct if ‘a lot’ described the proportion of scientific opinion that accepts the earth is 6000 years old and flat.

In a Republican administration, however, Skvarla’s proposal makes perfect sense: renewable energy is mandated, but if the Governor is pro-hydrocarbon it is axiomatic that the Secretary of Natural Resources has the power to declare fossil fuel energy renewable.

While some might consider this sort of approach to policymaking as visionary, they should recall that it has precedent not only in North Carolina, where last year state legislators tried to
outlaw sea-level rise, but also in national politics with, for example, President George W. Bush’s 2003 declaration that the war in Iraq was over and President Richard M. Nixon’s assurance that he was “not a crook.”

Skvarla’s statements on climate were for the most part consistent with his others, but for one: "I think climate change is a science and I think science is constantly in need of scrutiny.”

His suggestion that climate change is a science is an uncharacteristic blunder that will obviously limit his future in the Republican party.

Global Warming and Halloween

2012, the summer of the great US drought, has provided the growing conditions necessary for yet another record giant pumpkin: a 2009 pound whopper grown by Ron Wallace of Greene, RI, and exhibited at the Topsfield Fair in Topsfield, MA, in late September.

Record pumpkin weights have been trending the same way as global temperatures over the last few years, the previous record (1818.5 pounds) being set by a Quebecker in 2011, and before that 1810.5 pounds by a Wisconsin individual in 2010, 1725 pounds by an Ohian in 2009, 1689 pounds by a Rhode Island example in 2007, 1502 pounds in 2006 by this year’s record grower Ron Wallace, 1469 pounds by a Pennsylvanian in 2005 and 1466 pounds by an Ontarian in 2004. The 2008 result is unknown, but it did not break the record of the previous year.

Below we plot the GISS global temperature anomalies (vs the 1951-1980 period) for the June-July-August season -- prime pumpkin-growing time -- in hundredths of a degree C, and pumpkin weights in pounds (we couldn’t be arsed converting them to metric). It can be seen that pumpkin weights have a smaller natural variability than global temperature but a slightly steeper trend. This would make them ideal for use as an IPCC temperature proxy (possibly even better than marmots) were it not for the fact that giant pumpkins are extremely rare in the fossil record, which limits their utility for paleoclimatic applications.
Pumpkins vs T

The emissions produced in transporting these pumpkins to the various county fairs, pumpkin shows and harvest festivals are unrecorded but must be substantial. This suggests that increased atmospheric CO2 might in fact be due to increasing pumpkin weights (but with a lag time very much shorter than 800 years) rather than vice versa.

Happy Halloween!
Climate zombies everywhere rejoice!

Alberta’s GHG Targets Under Revisionism

CALGARY -- The Alberta government acknowledges that current figures indicate it missed its 2010 greenhouse gas emissions reduction goal and it is now reviewing the province’s accounting systems to correct the mistake.

Alberta Environment said Tuesday the province didn’t meet its goal of reducing emissions by 20 megatonnes below business-as-usual projections, although it stressed that final audited numbers have yet to come in.

With the province responsible for one-third of Canada’s growing greenhouse gas emissions, Environment Minister Diana McQueen said Thursday that Alberta is taking steps to ensure it will appear that the target was met.

“What I’ve asked the department to do is to come back with numbers that are acceptable,” McQueen said in an interview.

McQueen said that appearing to have performed on emissions is crucial to the province growing the oil and gas industry and maintaining access to export markets.

The PC government has also been criticized for not being on track to meet its own target for 2020, which calls for a further emissions reduction. Alberta is supposed to start cutting absolute emissions that year, rather than just a reduction per unit of economic production.

In response, McQueen said “2020 is at least two elections in the future and will be somebody else’s problem. What’s important right now is correcting the past.”

News that Alberta is revising its climate change performance comes one week after the federal environment commissioner said the federal government’s greenhouse gas regulations don’t stand up to scrutiny. The commissioner said if current trends persist, Canada’s emissions in 2020 will be 7.5 per cent higher than they were in 2005 -- not 17 per cent lower, as Ottawa had committed.

The existence of the office of federal environment commissioner is understood to have come as a severe shock to Prime Minister Stephen Harper. That it wasn’t identified and disestablished in the recent federal budget along with the National Roundtable on the Environment and the Economy is viewed as a serious blunder by Environment Minister Peter Kent, whose job could be on the line because of it.

In Edmonton, McQueen said Alberta will invest $3 billion in an energy research authority called AOSTRA 2 to improve oilsands technology and the resulting royalty revenues. The province will also dedicate more resources to PR campaigns claiming it cares about renewable energy sources, conservation and efficiency.

Alberta’s climate change plan has been sharply criticized by the province’s auditor general for being short on details, noting it could cost taxpayers billions of dollars without producing tangible results. Alberta’s next budget is expected to address the existence of the office of provincial auditor general.

Terry, a spokesman for the Canadian Association of Petroleum Producers, said it was widely understood Alberta’s climate change strategy was going to evolve in the same fashion as himself and his ancestors.

Wildrose Listens to Top Scientist, Says Earth’s Shape ‘Not Settled’

HICKSVILLE, AB – In response to University of Alberta biologist David Schindler, who wondered if she believed the flat Earth debate is still going on, the woman leading a front-running party in Alberta's provincial election has cast doubt on the widely accepted scientific theory that the Earth is an oblate spheroid.

"We have always said the science isn't settled and we need to continue to monitor the debate," said Wildrose Party leader Danielle Smith. “Indeed, if scientists like Dr Schindler are using the word ‘debate’ in connection with the shape of the Earth, it’s obviously an open question.”

A Wildrose official confirmed Smith's statement reflects a longtime party policy, along with equivocation on other ‘theories’ like evolution and global warming.

Smith has always been coy about whether she believes anything but her own PR.

But during the ensuing discussion she said her party believes that not enough is known about geodesy.

In response to further questions about the level of internal agreement with her party’s official position, Smith said “Our party is open to people of all different backgrounds, and I’m not going to discriminate against anybody.” She added that thanks to the Wildrose Party’s conscience-rights plan, MLAs will be free to vote on legislation as their beliefs dictate, “as long as they recognize that if their beliefs are wrong, they will suffer the rest of eternity in the lake of fire”.

‘The lake of fire’ is believed to be a code-name for an oilsands tailings pit near Fort McMurray in which the Wildrose disposes of members who disobey party policy directives.

Progressive Conservative Leader Alison Redford was non-committal on the science.

But the Tory-led Alberta government has long officially accepted the science backing a spheroidal earth, as has the federal government. They are joined by the rest of Canada's provincial and territorial governments, the U.S. (except Fox News), Mexico, the European Union and the United Nations socialist world government organization.

Letter to Alberta’s Wildrose Party - A Better Use for CO2

Dear Danielle

We, the Friends of Gin and Tonic, are an Alberta organization that has been front & centre in the “healthy scientific debate as to the extent manmade emissions of CO2 are affecting global temperatures” that is mentioned in your party’s environment policy. Indeed, we have already highlighted that policy and your deputy leader Paul Hinman’s doubts about the “validity” of CO2 on our blog, which as a politician you would do well to note is much more popular than the Facebook page of our geriatric competitors, the so-called Friends of Science. We have also promoted your eye-catching campaign photograph.

We note that a key part of your party’s environment policy is abandonment of the current government’s
carbon capture and storage initiative, so that should the Wildrose become government in the upcoming Alberta provincial election, there’ll be not only plenty of money but plenty of CO2 to go around. We’re sure your science advisors will have alerted you to the recent publication of a method for the electro-microbial conversion of CO2 to alcohol. We have already applied our Albertan knack for innovation to this new discovery: in my colleague Dr Schweinsgruber’s garage, we are in the advanced stages of constructing a demonstration plant for the conversion of CO2 to high-quality gin.


We therefore welcome your intention to give tax breaks for environment-related R&D, which we trust would include the rental of additional garage space for enterprises such as ours; and we strongly urge you to extend those tax breaks to the products of such enterprises, as long as they are intended for home consumption. We acknowledge that some in your party’s Policy Committee will be disappointed that we are not producing that good old Albertan staple, rye whisky, and therefore might not be sympathetically inclined toward our new business. In response we would note that gin’s traditional accompaniment, tonic water, not only has
potential health benefits in a warming naturally changing climate, its absorbance spectrum is such that keeping it out of the atmosphere should be encouraged.

We think our proposal should find favour with your party, which is on record as
promoting alcohol consumption before driving (and driving of course produces CO2). However, if after due consideration our proposal is not seen as compatible with Wildrose policy, we hope that your Disciplinary Committee will not condemn us to suffer the rest of eternity in the lake of fire.

Dr Roger Romney-Hughes
Executive Director
Friends of Gin and Tonic


Letter to Canadian Environment Minister Peter Kent


Dear Minister Kent,

We were very pleased to read that one of the reasons for abolishing the venerable National Round Table on the Environment and the Economy in the recent budget is that today, more agreeable advice can be gained cheaper and faster on the internet. We, the Friends of Gin and Tonic, an internet scientific and alcoholic advisory group of just on 2 years standing, would be delighted to be among the oracles you consult.

In our brief but illustrious history, we have offered climate-related legal advice to famous climbertologist Lord Christopher Monckton and to the British Parliament. Among our many scientific innovations, we have uncovered the influence of climate change on the performance of the Toronto Maple Leafs, developed new statistical techniques of fitting proper trends to temperature and other climate data, and demonstrated that marmots can predict climate better than expensive computers programmed by expensive ‘climate scientists’ (many of whom, despite being government employees, probably don’t vote Conservative). We have also promoted the favourable atmospheric effects of the energy mix in Prime Minister Harper’s (and our own) home province of Alberta, promoted ‘ethical asbestos’ to complement the oilsands producers’ ‘ethical oil’ campaign, and, not least, have reported your own glorious military victory against South Africa.

We’re certain that with such a distinguished record we will soon be among your most treasured advisors. We imagine that as a former journalist you, like Hunter S. Thompson, are more of a Wild Turkey man, but we would also be happy to provide recommendations for suitable refreshments to prepare you for those long sessions in the House (or, like Rob Anders, committee work). All we would ask in return is a small stipend to cover the gin required by the marmots. We expect this to be no more than the cost of a single one of Defence Minister Peter Mackay’s fishing trips. If this consideration is not forthcoming, we cannot be held responsible for any drunken marmots you might find running loose in your office and for the resulting damage to public property.

While we recognize that the interweb is fertile ground for those searching for policy advice to fit their particular prejudices, we would caution you against consulting it indiscriminately. In particular, we urge you to beware the charlatans of the Friends of Science, who these days are no longer Conservative supporters but vote for the Wildrose Alliance and who furthermore are promoters and distributors of the most egregious bullshit.

Dr Roger Romney-Hughes
Executive Director
Friends of Gin and Tonic


Dinosaurs Responsible for Global Warming


More Bad News for Leafs & Flames Fans


Research just published by McGill and Concordia University alarmists in the popular weather comic Environmental Research Letters has Canadian ice-hockey fans sitting up and taking notice: in their paper Observed decreases in the Canadian outdoor skating season due to recent winter warming, the authors defined criteria for the beginning (3 consecutive daytime highs at or below -5C) and length of the outdoor ice-hockey season and determined that since 1951 many locations, particularly in SW and Central Canada, showed statistically significant decreases. Projecting the most extreme trend, that for the SW, into the future suggests the region’s outdoor hockey rinks could be ice-free by mid-century.

The implications of this are potentially devastating for Canadian hockey. Many past and current heroes of the sport, including the great Gretzky, spent their formative years honing their checking and fighting techniques (as well as the less important stick-handling and skating capabilities) on backyard or neighborhood outdoor ice rinks. If those facilities are no longer available, critical Canadian hockey skills will be lost. In fast-melting SW and Central Canada, there is evidence that the situation has already become critical: the Calgary Flames and Toronto Maple Leafs have consistently played like crap for the last few seasons. Read More...

Climate Idiots of the Year 2011: John McLean and the NZ Climate Science Coalition

Other blogs and commentators have published best/worst lists for the last year, and there have certainly been plenty of examples of stupidity or outright lies to choose from (with Ian Plimer continuing to outperform in both categories). However, one we particularly liked seems to have been missed outside the southern hemisphere: the March prediction by Carter/de Freitas co-author, Australian comedian John McLean, that 2011 would be the “coolest year globally since 1956 or even earlier.”

The likelihood of this was examined at Hot Topic, where the GISS record was used to show that for this prediction to be correct, global average temperature would have to drop by 0.8C in a single year. While ‘official’ December figures aren’t yet out, readers might like to take the January-November data from any of the global terrestrial records (the satellite ones of course don’t go back far enough) to see how cold last month would have to have been to meet the McLean/NZCSC target. For consistency with Hot Topic, we did it with the GISS record.

The GISS global temperature anomaly for 1956 -- the difference between that year’s global average temperature and the 1951-1980 mean (the latter estimated as 14.0C) -- is -0.19C, giving a global average absolute temperature for 1956 of 13.81C. The average of the Jan-Nov 2011 anomalies is +0.52C. A bit of maths shows that to reduce the 2011 absolute average to 13.81C would require December’s anomaly to be -8C. That’s 12 times larger than any other 2011 month’s anomaly and in the opposite direction -- likely a bit much even for our Friends of Science and other luminaries who think we’re entering another ice age.

So, for the prediction that 2011 will be colder than 1956 and because they still haven’t rescinded it, FoGT’s Climate Idiot(s) of the Year prize goes to John McLean and the New Zealand Climate Simians Coalition.

Canadian Forces Withdraw from Kyoto to Join US Occupation of Australia

“Our work here is done,” says Canadian C-in-C Kent

DURBAN, December 6 – Commander-in-Chief of the Canadian armed forces Brigadier-General Peter Kent today announced that Canada would not commit to a second tour-of-duty in Kyoto, Japan, preferring instead to join US marines in their occupation of Australia after 2012.

“Despite having been instigated by a Liberal government, our time in Kyoto was extremely successful,” Kent said. “Unlike our deployment in Afghanistan, our Kyoto mission was a battle for hearts and minds rather than bodies, and our war against the enemies of the Friends of Science to uphold freedom of combustion can now be declared over.”

Brigadier Kent, new to his current role but with a distinguished past career as a professional liar, was asked how the pullout might be viewed at home given recent military embarrassments there. “The idea that we’re doing this to distract from what’s going on domestically is completely baseless,” he said. “A substantial proportion of the population never supported our presence in Kyoto, but they did like us being in Afghanistan, and although ice hockey isn’t played much in Australia the beer is cheaper and the dress code is much more relaxed, especially for the girls. We’re confident the Australian mission will be overwhelmingly supported by the Canadian public.” Read More...

Friend of Science Found Dead Near Fort MacMurray


Syncrude plesiosaur may offer key insight; specimen rare

Ancient history is coming to the surface in Fort McMurray, Alta., where modern mechanical giants meet the prehistoric kind.

Last week, a Syncrude Canada Ltd. oil patch worker at the controls of an enormous shovelling machine unearthed what could prove to be a paleontological treasure.

The remains of a rare reptile that prowled Alberta's prehistoric seas are now being excavated by scientists who hope to learn something about life in the province more than 100 million years ago.

"There's nothing around like it today," said Don Brinkman, director of preservation and research at the Royal Tyrrell Museum of Palaeontology. At up to 20 metres long, the long-necked plesiosaur was one of the largest to swim in the ocean that once covered most of the province. Read More...

Geology Lesson for the Friends of Science (‘cause we love them)

The Friends of Science submission on the Government of Canada’s CO2 reduction plan, which we featured a couple of weeks back, contains - among the usual lies, misconceptions, zombie arguments and irrelevancies - this statement on the effects of sea-level rise on atoll islands (Page 15):

“The islands are mostly comprised of coral debris eroded from encircling reefs that is pushed up onto the islands by winds and waves. As the sea level rises, more sand and coral debris accumulates on the islands with the result that the islands rise with the sea level. The coral itself continues to grow upwards to match the sea level rise. Island atolls can grow much faster than recent rates of sea level rise. Sea level rise does not endanger low-lying coral islands.”

In support of this model of atoll island evolution they cited recent work by Webb & Kench, who found that of 27 islands on four different atolls they examined in air photos and satellite images covering periods of 19 to 61 years, only four had decreased in area while 11 had increased and the rest had experienced no significant change either way. This is an interesting result, but to see if it really does support our Friends’ contention (or even Webb & Kench’s own more cautious conclusion that it “suggests that reef islands are geomorphically resilient landforms") we need to look more closely at the origin and construction of atoll islands and their histories over a longer timescale. Read More...

US Responds to Australia’s Carbon Tax

US to increase military presence in Australia

CANBERRA, Australia, Nov. 16 -- A beefed-up military presence in Australia will begin in mid-2012, President Barack Obama told Australian Prime Minister Julia Gillard Wednesday.

"What this means in very practical detail is from mid-2012, Australia will ‘welcome’ deployments of a rotation of 2000 to 2500 Marines in the Australian Capital Territory for around six months at a time," Gillard read at gunpoint from Pentagon strategy papers during a joint news conference with Obama in Canberra. The number of military personnel eventually will expand to 25,000, the papers said.

"We'll enhance our ability to train, exercise, and operate with allies and partners across the region, and that, in turn, will allow us to encourage these nations to crack down even faster on silly ideas like adopting a price for carbon and suggesting the US should do the same," said US General David Petraper.

Carnage at Friends of Science Conference

TORONTO - Emergency workers faced a scene right out of a horror movie Tuesday after members of the Friends of Science fell off a platform during a meeting in Toronto.

At least 16 members who were on what is understood to be a sun-worship platform were injured in the accident just before 8 a.m. at a compound in the city's west end, police said. Officials said none of the injuries was life-threatening.

At first, emergency responders were thrown by the bizarre sight of the climate zombies, and it was more difficult for crews to assess their injuries, said Toronto EMS spokesman Stig McIntyre (no relation). Read More...

Toma Harris defeats Science again

According to an Emeritus Professor of physics quoted by Tom Harris, so
it must be true.

The following and the references therein must therefore all be lies:

We're so lucky to have Tom Harris/the ICSC/the Friends of Science to put
us straight!

Kill CO2 regulations

Tom Harris
National Post
Thu, 6 Oct 2011
1156 words
(c) 2011 National Post . All Rights Reserved.

The annual Conference of the Parties (COP) to the United Nations
Framework Convention on Climate Change must be intimidating events for
Canadian environment ministers. Year after year they are expected to
present Canada's "green credentials" to appease international
eco-critics.

FoGT recommends

A message from your Friends of Gin and Tonic:
Keep Calm

Rex Murphy's Calgary Climate Denial barely successful

McEwan Hall at the University of Calgary during Rex Murphy's presentation.

Rex Murphy spoke at McEwan Hall of the University of Calgary yesterday and everybody came. Len Maier of the Friends of Science expected a crowd of 1000, mostly students. The approximately 27 Friends of Science congested the entrance with their walkers, wheel chairs, and oxygen tanks so that many students were turned away by the wait. There were not enough adult diapers supplied by the sponsor (Talisman Energy) and the resulting mess caused a delay for the 57 attendants. We were surprised that the University tolerated this spectacle on their property, considering their recent encounter with the Friends of Science.


Friends of Science's Denial denied

“We’re not on the List!”

The recent book ‘Climate Change Denial: Heads in the Sand’ by Haydn Washington and John Cook includes a list of denialist organizations that, inexplicably, omits our stalwart Friends of Science. We’ve wondered how they might respond…

We would almost have preferred a vindictive tax audit to that kind of crippling exclusion. Christ! What kind of waterheads compiled that list? How can we show our faces in the Petroleum Club, when word finally reaches Calgary that we weren’t on it?

There is slim satisfaction in the knowledge that our exclusion from the (2011) list of ‘climate change deniers’ has more to do with timing and John Cook’s refusal to read the
National Post than with the outrageousness of all the things we’ve said and written about those climatologist bastards. Read More...

Alberta leads Canada in Fight Against Global Warming

Province has country’s highest proportion of air-cooling, coal-fired power stations; but new federal rules endanger Alberta’s green good works

While everybody knows that coal-fired power stations emit far more CO2 than their natural-gas fired equivalents, what hasn’t been widely understood until recently is that the aerosols (often pejoratively called 'smog') produced by clunky old coal plants reflect sunlight, acting as a ‘negative forcing’ on climate. In Alberta, we are proud to obtain over 70% of our electricity from coal, overwhelmingly from old plants that, while they might spit out loads of CO2, also produce wonderful quantities of nice cooling aerosols, thereby fulfilling our earnest desire to do our bit in the fight against global warming.

Earthquake Strikes Eastern US – ‘Fracking’ Implicated

Tuesday, August 23 - A magnitude 5.8 earthquake today struck the US East Coast and Canada from Virginia to Toronto, shaking buildings including the White House and forcing evacuation of the Pentagon and US Capitol.

There were no immediate reports of major damage or injuries from the quake, which the
US Geological Survey said was centred in Mineral, Virginia, between Charlottesville and Richmond, close to anticlerical president Thomas Jefferson’s historic homestead at Monticello.

Washington office workers scurried into the streets after the quake, which lasted for about five seconds and sent items crashing to the floor from store and office shelves.

Tremors shook New York City office buildings, prompting evacuations of courthouses, City Hall and halting work at the World Trade Center construction site, officials and witnesses said.

Presidential Candidate Expresses Doubts on Existence of God

GOP presidential candidate Rick Perry told New Hampshire voters that he does not believe in the existence of a God who can directly intervene in human affairs, calling it a religious theory that has not been proven.

"I think we're seeing almost weekly, or even daily, theologians that are coming forward and questioning the original idea that a supernatural entity is what is causing events here on Earth," the Texas governor said on the first stop of a two-day trip to the first-in-the-nation primary state.

He said some want billions or trillions of taxpayer dollars spent to address the issue, but he added: "I don't think from my perspective that I want to be engaged in spending that much money on still a theistic theory that has not been proven and from my perspective is more and more being put into question."

His comments came at a packed breakfast meeting with local business leaders in a region known for its strong congregations. And he made his deity-doubting comment in response to a question by an audience member who cited evidence from the Bible.

Most Powerful Solar Flare in 5 Years; Friends of Science Expect Results in 1

Associated with its 11-year cycle from quiet to more active (which numerous loonies luminaries claimed wasn’t going to happen this time), the sun yesterday erupted its most powerful flare in nearly five years. Our friendly climate experts in the Friends of Science have assembled a train of unassailable logic that shows there is about a decade of time lag between an increase in solar activity (but only solar activity, not anything else – for example, so-called greenhouse gases) and its ultimate effects.

Therefore, all this worry about disruption to satellites and communications is premature. By the time it’ll be a problem, your Blackberry, like its manufacturer, will be obsolete, current satellites will have crashed into the ocean or Australia and we’ll all be shivering after the
massive cooling that will take place from 2011 onward. So, you can all relax and ponder the parallel decline in the value of your investment portfolios while saving up for that new iPad or Android device, which by the time you can afford it will almost certainly be sun-proof.

Global Warming Making Earth Fat

An article in press in AGU journal Geophysical Research Letters describes how the satellite-based Gravity Recovery and Climate Experiment (GRACE) has detected that melting ice from Greenland and Antarctica is being redistributed as liquid water around the equator, providing yet more proof that climate change global warming is bad for the health of the planet. “The oblate spheroid is rapidly becoming an obese spheroid, and obesity demands immediate action, or at the very least moral panic”, says FoGT Director of Scientific Content, Karl Freiherr von Monckhausen.

Because GRACE can
detect changes in the global distribution of mass, the cause of the increased waistline can be correctly attributed. We at FoGT had earlier speculated about an increase in planetary density due to the human population having become thicker with time, disagreeing with our colleague the famous blog climatologist Baron von Monckhofen who interpreted an increase in population mass. However, GRACE has now convincingly demonstrated that neither density nor mass are being gained, but mass is rather being rearranged. Read More...

High Times for the Gas of Life Confuse Mosquitoes, Tories and Ian Plimer

Despite doubts about its ‘validity’ from the likes of the Wildrose Alliance, CO2 or as we like to call it ‘the gas of life’ has been getting a lot of press recently. First, a couple of weeks back, the International Energy Agency announced that in 2010, emissions from electricity generation were the highest ever at over 30 gigatons, eclipsing the previous record set in 2008. The IEA was set up by energy-consuming countries to track and predict possible shortfalls in energy supply, particularly in oil, so it can hardly be said to be an alarmist greenie organization (even though it is based in Paris). The same week, it was determined that the CO2 measured at the NOAA Mauna Loa observatory had the previous week (May 22) reached 394.97 ppm, the highest concentration ever recorded (data here), considerably exceeding its pre-industrial concentration of ~280 ppm.

Then in early June,
it emerged that the Canadian government had neglected to include an upward revision of its estimates for 2009 growth in emissions from the oilsands (to 20% over 2008, including a 14.5% rise in ‘emissions intensity’ or emissions per barrel produced) in a report it submitted -- late, just before the Federal election -- to the UN Framework Convention on Climate Change. It also emerged that the government has explored hiring a PR firm to improve the oilsands’ image while hosting ‘annual retreats’ for its oilsands advocacy team in London to explore ways of fighting back against foreign emissions-reduction policies. Presuming that’s England, not Ontario, we at FoGT will be volunteering our expertise. Read More...

GAC-MAC 2012 Symposia: Velikovsky, Solar-Cycle Tectonics, Intelligent Design, and the Shape of the Earth

In the wake of the 2011 Geological Association of Canada -- Mineralogical Association of Canada Convention Symposium ‘Earth Climate: Past, Present, Future’, ostensibly hosted because “the scientific debate about climate change is far from over” and to present a “geological perspective” on it, we call for symposium proposals for 2012. Obvious candidates are a review of the work of Immanuel Velikovsky, a hero of Friend of Science and retired geography professor Tim Ball, and the idea that solar cycles cause great earthquakes and volcanic eruptions, a favourite of one of our own favourites, Friend of Science Norm Kalmanovitch. Ball/Kalmanovitch associates Neil Hutton, Ian Plimer, and Kalmanovitch himself featured prominently at this year’s symposium, and they’d no doubt enjoy another opportunity to expose the cover-ups of these brilliant and original scientific hypotheses by the world-socialist ‘scientific establishment’. Equally, we’re sure that GAC would be only too happy to invite them again. Read More...

Evil Scientists Plan Cooling and Killing the Planet

The Earth’s internal heat comes from two sources, residual heat left over from planetary accretion (~20%) and decay of radioactive elements (~80%). These sources are of course non-renewable. To halt the supposedly harmful climb in the atmospheric concentration of CO2, a possibly mythical gas that is reported to look, feel and behave exactly like glass but is nonetheless food for plants, increased use of geothermal energy is commonly promoted by warmalarmists and other petroleum-haters. Just last week, unscrupulous geophysicists hatched a new and sinister plot: not only do they intend increasing geothermal energy use, they plan to inject CO2 instead of water as the heat-exchange fluid.

The Earth produces
about 44 TW of heat, approximately 3 times global human energy use, of which about 10 TW is from land (where average heat flow is 65 mW/m^2) and therefore available for human use. Total human energy use is about 15 TW and rising, so it would be possible for human geothermal use to consume all of the available resource. Read More...

Evidence for a Genetic Basis for Climate Denial

Executive Director:  Tom Harris, B. Eng., M. Eng. (Mech., thermofluids), Ottawa, Ontario, Canada;  Phone: 613-728-9200.  View a short excerpt of a public presentation by Mr. Harris.  Mr. Harris teaches "Climate Change: an Earth Sciences Perspective", a second year course in the Faculty of Sciences at Carleton University in Ottawa, Canada.  One can view the first lecture of 2011 for free hereLearn more about Mr. Harris.


Monckton Admits Defeat, Releases New Logo


Lord Monckton surrenders the field. The world is ours! (Due Feb 8 in Canada).

Official Reanalysis demonstrates consistent Cooling of New Zealand since 1909

Official Reanalysis Demonstrates Consistent Cooling of New Zealand Since 1909

Nostalgic readers might fondly remember last November’s NIWAgate, little New Zealand’s very own miniature Climategate, in which our good Friends the New Zealand Climate Science Coalition, eager to get in on the action, accused the agency responsible for the country’s climate analysis of fudging the numbers. NZCSC ‘uncovered’ adjustments to the freely-available temperature data used to make up the country’s semi-official climate record and were outraged to discover that these adjustments made a warming trend out of what appeared to be no trend at all. That they chose to ignore station moves and equipment changes -- corresponding with the times of these adjustments and clearly documented in the accompanying metadata -- as “unremarkable” could perhaps have been seen as a flaw in their analysis, but it was nonetheless pounced upon by devious heroic politicians as evidence of a conspiracy in support of the contentious national emissions trading scheme. Read More...

Liberal Media Watchdog: Faux News E-mail Shows Network's Slant on Geodesy

Faux News Channel's top Washington editor ordered the network's
reporters to couple any mention of a spheroidal earth with skepticism
about the data underlying such a scientific conclusion, according to an
e-mail released by a liberal media-watchdog group Wednesday.

Flat-Earth

Wildrose Alliance Maintains Quality of Conservative Science in Alberta Political Debate

On November 1, Alberta’s Progressive Conservative government (no, it’s not a joke name, and many of them live in Valley Ridge) introduced Bill 24, the Carbon Capture and Storage Statutes Amendment Act, into the provincial legislature. The bill aims to clarify that subsurface pore space into which CO2 is injected and stored is owned by the Province, who will monitor all storage sites and perform any necessary remediations using a new fund levied from CCS operators. The bill goes hand in hand with the government’s Carbon Capture & Storage Initiative, under which $2B has been earmarked to subsidize corporate carbon storage projects -- the biggest government-funded CCS scheme anywhere.

Like climate science, Bill 24 has in its passage through the legislature been subject to much debate -- a lot of it of similar quality. Although the provincial Liberals cautiously support CCS,
they argue that the bill places a potentially large liability on Alberta taxpayers and complain that it takes away landowners’ property rights (although they neglect to mention that whatever originally filled the pore spaces the government now says it owns was never the property of the landowners in the first place). Much more opprobrium has come from the new faorce in Alberta politics, the Wildrose Alliance. Read More...

Not Denier, Messiah: A Second Australian Saint

In his wonderful new and already discounted book, our good Friend Bob Carter dispenses with the real deniers with pure, cold, rational, unemotional, unadulterated reason:

“They deny that the Earth’s climate is cooling; they deny that the climate models on which their global warming policies are based are worthless as predictive tools; they deny that the IPCC and its advice are flawed beyond repair; they deny that the Copenhagen Conference was a failure; they deny that carbon dioxide is an environmental benefice; they deny that Climategate is any more than an isolated, minor squabble among a few climate research cognoscenti; they deny that they have allowed their young people to be educationally brainwashed about global warming; they deny that the science research community has been corrupted by their agenda-driven funding requirements; they deny that government science-related organizations, at their behest, have been acting as propagandists for eco-evangelistic causes; they deny that windfarms and solar power are environmentally damaging and uneconomic for baseload power generation; they continue to strive to deny public voice to independent scientific viewpoints on climate change; and, above all, they deny that they are wrong in their continued assertions that human-caused global warming is an identified and deadly danger.” Read More...

Wild Rose Alliance releases Climate Policy and Oktoberfest Lager

Alberta’s Wildrose Alliance, the local political party for all right-drinking people, recently released its environment policy: Clean Beer, Clean Water, Clean Land. Coincidentally, the Wild Rose Brewery has just released its seasonal Oktoberfest Lager, which, at 5.5% ABV, might need to be consumed in some quantity to lead to agreement with the position that “there is obviously still healthy scientific debate as to the extent manmade emissions of CO2 are affecting fermentation temperatures --and this debate will likely carry on for many years.”



‘Mad Monk’ Meets Monckton: Australian Headline of the Year

On August 9 2010, The Melbourne Age reported the results of adjudication by the Australian Press Council on a complaint concerning the article “Mad Monk Meets Monckton”, which reported on a meeting between Opposition leader Tony Abbott and FoGT correspondent Lord Monckton the day after the release of the Opposition’s much-heralded mining promotion climate-change policy.


The complainant alleged that the photograph exaggerated the symptoms of Viscount Monckton's Grave's disease and that the newspaper had not published her letter of objection. The Press Council dismissed the complaint, since other letters had been published and the photograph did not, in the Council’s opinion, place gratuitous emphasis on Monckton's medical condition.

Perhaps surprisingly, there is no record of any complaint by supporters of erstwhile ‘Mad Monk’ Mr Abbott, advocate of the
iron sun theory and proponent of non-physics broadband; they apparently appreciated any coverage linking him to someone that made him appear relatively sane. Neither is there any record of a complaint by Mr Abbott’s political opponents about a headline that could only increase his popularity among his core supporters in the run-up to the election.

FoGT congratulates The Age on its journalistic balance and the Press Council on its sense of humour. And vice-versa.


Canadian Government protects Its Citizens from Scientific Misinformation

Concerned that the citizens of Canada are having their heads filled with alarmist pseudo-science about climate change and pollution from the tar sands industry, the Minister of Natural Resources, Christian Paradis, has decreed that all contact between Natural Resources Canada (NRC) scientists and journalists has to be “pre-approved” by the Minister.



The Electric Monckton

The Electric Monckton was a labour-saving device, like a dishwasher or a video recorder. Dishwashers washed tedious dishes for you, thus saving you the bother of washing them yourself, video recorders watched tedious television for you, thus saving you the bother of looking at it yourself; Electric Moncktons believed things for you, thus saving you what was becoming an increasingly onerous task, that of believing all the things the world expected you to believe. Unfortunately this Electric Monckton had developed a fault, and had started to believe all kinds of things, more or less at random. It was even beginning to believe things they’d have difficulty believing in Salt Lake City. It had never heard of Salt Lake City, of course. Nor had it ever heard of a quingigillion, which was roughly the number of miles between this valley and the Great Salt Lake of Utah. Read More...

Rodent Reprise - Marmots Predict Global Cooling

We recently reported on a study in Nature showing that marmots respond favourably to increased atmospheric CO2 (or maybe biscuits). In the wake of the release of NOAA’s 2009 State of the Climate report, in which it is concluded that “global warming is undeniable”, we thought the marmots worth revisiting to see how they compared with the report’s Key Climate Indicators. After all, their cousins the groundhogs have been used in climate prediction for centuries, as have similar animals, and the University of Chicago apparently employs a yeti for the same purpose. We were therefore surprised that NOAA didn’t at least rate the marmots a mention. To rectify this, we here subject the Nature population to a rigorous statistical analysis in the style pioneered by our Friend Steven Goddard, graphic analyst (or is it anal graphicist?) extraordinaire and regular poster at the world’s most popular science website, Watts Up With That.

We begin with the orthodox
denialist scientific practice of carefully selecting the datasets we wish to compare. From the marmot record, the obvious data to use are those on adult mean mass (solid curve in Figure 1b); readers will agree that the familiar shape of that curve, particularly after 1998, shows that only mature marmots have the experience necessary to map climatic changes correctly. Of course, we need to verify this against other climate records, so we use the ones that have always demonstrated that global warming has stopped: the HadCRUT3 surface temperature record and various of the UAH satellite records. Next, we perform what Steven would modestly describe as an ‘innovation’ but which might in some circles be uncharitably referred to as a ‘trick’: plot them on the same graph, with suitably scaled axes, and stare at them for a while until a (non energy-efficient) lightbulb comes on. Read More...

No Sleep'til Brenchley - Letter to Moncktön and Motörhead

Original sent on August 8, 2010 6:34:16 PM MDT

From: Friends of Gin & Tonic
The Viscount Monckton of Brenchley 
Carie, Rannoch, Scotland, PH17 2QJ 
+44 1882 632341; fax 632776; cell +44 7814 556423  

cc: The Agency Group Ltd, London (
booking agents, Motörhead)

Your Lordship,

Congratulations on your recent climate-change debate wins. Rest assured, public debate is crucial for public relations and each of your wins may, for short periods, deactivate the laws of physics and thus briefly reverse the effects of global warming.

Letter to the House of Lords

Dear Lord House,

We at Friends of Gin & Tonic, loyal subjects of Her Majesty Queen Elizabeth from the colony of Upper Canada and the convict colony of Australia, would like to enquire about the usage of the emblem of the British Parliament, specifically in connection with the House of Lords. Our good friend, the famous climate denier:

The Viscount Monckton of Brenchley 
Carie, Rannoch, Scotland, PH17 2QJ 
+44 1882 632341; fax 632776; cell +44 7814 556423  

has in the past claimed, among many other things, to be a member of the House of Lords. You have denied this (see
here). Despite this and the copyright issue you raise here, he continues to use the parliamentary emblem -- slightly modified in colour to fit his rather love-parade taste in ties, and with a modified hat which is not even a Viscount’s coronet -- on his website and in his public presentations on climate change denial: Read More...



CO2 is Marmot Food: Huge Economic Upside for Alberta

A juvenile Colorado Marmot dwarfs mature Alpine Sunflowers

Just published in weekly warmalarmist-anticreationist comicbook Nature is a ground-breaking (or at least, ground-hogging) study demonstrating the favourable effects of global warming climate change increased atmospheric CO2 on the number, weight and lifespan of Colorado marmots. Over the period 1976-2008, a time of both warming and cooling but monotonic CO2 increase, the marmots were observed emerging from hibernation earlier, becoming heavier during the lengthening growing season, producing more offspring, and living increasingly longer lives. This is not only clear proof of the beneficial effects of CO2 on some parts of certain ecosystems, it also has obvious economic implications for marmot-producing regions.


On Bullshit - De Sterco Tauri - A Denialist Manifesto

At warmalarmist website Skeptical Science, they’ve published a ‘scientific guide’ that purports to correct mistakes (huh!) in ‘The Skeptics Handbook’, that tour de farce of denial circulated by second-rate journalist brilliant amateur climatologist Joanne Nova. Guidebooks and Handbooks are all very well, but really they’re just recipe books -- collections of facts or nonsense lacking the philosophical underpinnings to enlighten disciples on how they should argue rather than just what they should say. We would therefore like to direct our readers to a perhaps overlooked dissertation that fits the denialist credo perfectly: On Bullshit, by Princeton academic Harry Frankfurt.

What makes Frankfurt’s exposition so relevant is the unassailably-argued distinction it draws between bullshit and lies. Now, certain hotheaded warmalarmists have in the past accused us deniers of the occasional lie. Such accusations miss the fundamental point that to lie, one has to know, and even care about, the truth. As Frankfurt says:

US City poisons innocent Canadians with CO2

In an extreme escalation of the embargo on Alberta oilsands products by the city of Bellingham, Washington, the city of Bend, Oregon has taken a dramatic step. Tired of the bullbirdshit emanating from its Canadian residents, no doubt in a show of solidarity with their Bellingham colleagues, and presumably determined to put the lie to Friends of Science Myth # 7 ‘CO2 is [not] a pollutant’, Bend workers yesterday rounded up 109 Canadians from the local park they’d been living in, took them to a secret city facility, and exposed them to raised concentrations of this trace atmospheric gas until all of them died of natural causes. Reports suggest they are being prepared for feeding to the local homeless population (many of whom are likely also Canadian). Read More...

Watts deposes Australian PM, scores Own-Goal

As reported here, radio weatherman and denialist blogger extraordinaire Anthony Watts is currently touring Australia in support of a new political party: the Climate Sceptics Party (where can we join!?). As has been widely reported, our Australian sk/ceptic siblings have been lobbying hard against their government’s proposed emissions trading scheme, with some success: it was indefinitely postponed by PM Kevin Rudd in April, to the delight of all right-thinking people (i.e., all the candidates in the Climate Sceptics) and the opposition Liberal-National coalition (Liberal-National = conservative, but two short words are easier for Australians than one long one), after stalling in the Senate thanks to the efforts of great statesmen like creationist Steve Fielding. Recently, Rudd’s Labor (Australians can’t spell Labour) government announced a hefty tax increase on mining companies, and its popularity, already hit by the ETS backdown, suffered another blow. We deniers hate taxes. Plainly, something had to change. Read More...

De Bello contra Scientiam - About the War on Science

By Baronet Pissequaffer Apeton, VP War on Science

Are we engaged in a war on science? You bet we are! On the ‘science’ that’s controlled by a small politico-scientific elite who have engineered a
conspiracy of consensus about ‘global warming’ in order to support their clandestine push for a single world government. Readers might not realize just how pervasive this conspiracy has become. Each month, hundreds – thousands, by some counts – of articles consistent with the theory of anthropogenic global warming (AGW) are published in the corrupt, stinking morass of the peer-reviewed scientific literature. Furthermore, the national science academies of over 30 countries have issued statements of affirmation, as has every major scientific society that has published a position (see here). Against this mammoth level of collusion and what its subscribers call the ‘evidence’ behind it, you’d think that we deniers have an almost impossible task. How is it, then, that we’re managing to hold our own quite as well as we are? Postatem obscuri lateris nescitis! Following is an outline of the main points of our strategy. Read More...

Heaven over Huntsville: Spencer and Denser

Recently in his blog, Alabama rocket-scientist and aspiring creationist Dr Roy Spencer indulged in some more high-quality denial by purporting to demonstrate that there’s no ‘fingerprint’ of anthropogenic global warming. Using a simple climate model he’s built himself, he performed two 50-year runs: one with high climate sensitivity, the other with low sensitivity but gradually decreasing cloud cover (allowing more sunlight in); atmospheric CO2 was doubled in both. The two results showed the same surface temperature increase and the same radiative imbalance. Voila! Obviously, natural changes can’t be distinguished from anthropogenic ones, climate sensitivity could be lower than the consensus-conspiracy, and recent global warming climate change could have been caused by a gradual decrease in global cloudiness (not an increase in solar irradiance, as we’ve discussed before) that’s somehow escaped everybody’s notice. Read More...

Open Letter to AGU: FoGT offers Support in Climate Denial

Deniers who keep up with the corrupt, stinking morass of the peer-reviewed ‘scientific’ literature – and many who don’t but who want to impress their Friends – will be intimately familiar with what our hero Lord Monckton called “perhaps the most important paper ever to have been published on the question of anthropogenic ‘global warming’”: the paper that appeared last August in Geophysical Research Letters by Lindzen & Choi. Lindzen & Choi analyzed the relationship between sea-surface temperature and satellite-observed outgoing radiation in and over the tropics from 1985 to 1999 and concluded that climate sensitivity, the global average temperature rise expected under a doubling of atmospheric CO2, is only about 0.5oC rather than the ~3oC of the consensus-conspiracy. The paper instantly became a denialist smash-hit, and all our Friends trumpeted it at every chance they could as the final proof that CO2 was nothing more than harmless plant food. Read More...

Friends of Science release May denialist ‘Update’

We were thrilled to see that our friends the Friends have released their latest denialist summary. As we eagerly read it, though, our enthusiasm was tempered as we realized all the arguments are zombies