Misunderestimating the Urban Heat Island Effect!


The 'urban heat island' (UHI) effect refers to the fact that many temperature measurement sites are located in cities. These locations are generally warmer than the surrounding countryside. This effect is maximised in the Republican Bible Belt of the continental United States owing to additional heat-generating factors: steaming anger expressed in townhall meetings, overheated unprotected sex between unmarried teenagers, friction by fingers gliding along rosaries during extended prayer, overusage of large pickup trucks in drive throughs, and the absorption of solar radiation by unprotected human necks. Many of the surface measurement stations are located improperly, enhancing this effect and hence falsifying the global temperature record of the United States. The above picture was taken in Marysville, Ca. (near Jesustown).

In contrast, wamist believers believe that the
urban heat island effect does not add to global temperature anomalies, based again not on blog science but on the peer-reviewed literature controlled and manipulated by world socialism. We are still searching for the opinion column in the 'National Post' that proves this science wrong. Unfortunately, we have not found the copy yet in our blue recycling bin. Most of our skepticism stems from the US surface station record because that is where most of us Republicans live: in the 2% of the world's surface that is covered by the U.S. (excluding occupied territories such as Iraq, Afghanistan, Nicaragua, Japan, and Heidelberg). Global warming has always been a smalltown issue: the smaller the mind town, the globaller the warming (or the changier the climate, as Frank Luntz would have said in his days). It is concluded that the placement of measurement stations should be managed anally.

The picture below illustrates the UHI at a smaller scale and advises against measurement station placement within the human body, which generates the equivalent of a black hole in the UHI misoverestimate. Nevertheless, the UN socialist world government claims
that, after the corrections already inherent in the record, the UHI makes essentially no difference as the surface temperatures are consistent with the satellite temperatures that are not affected by cities.

Pecuniae Obediunt Omnia!